Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien

Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien
The misadventures of Ozzy and Tolkien at home

Monday, 30 March 2020

Two weeks with hoomins at home all the time....is too much for any cat!

Yeap having a little time to meowself and hoomins are not around when you need them...
I’ve never thought that I would say this but I wish that my  hoomins could go outside for a little while now and then and not stay at home all the time since they are now becoming very very annoying as each day passes by. I just can stand it any longer being at home with 2 hoomins and a stupid cat (Tolkien of course) all the time….too much!

I also wish that someone could explain to me what that social distance is that the hoomins everywhere are supposed to do and why my hoomins and all the other hoomins are staying home all the time now...because this is not right...hoomins being hoomins are supposed to go outside and do what what hoomins do and then come home and bring food and tasty treats to us and give us the attention we need...when we need it! Hoomins are not supposed to stay indoors permanently and behave like they are us....actually let me rephrase this....and behave like lazy and bored hoomins....we are not anything like them…lazy and annoying of course!
You see the big problem is that my hoomins are clearly bored and I’m pretty sure that all the other hoomins if they are staying indoors as well are pretty bored too and when hoomins are bored they try to entertain themselves which means that us, cats, end up suffering as a result...having to cope with their ever changing moods and demand for attention all the time!

You see with hoomins at home permanently there is no routine or any form of normal life anymore.... and of course you know that us cats love our routine and always under control life. There is no early getting up or chance of getting up the hoomins any reasonable time in the morning for breakfast especially and since one of my hoomins insists in going to bed really late or early in the morning hours…wherever, it has got really really bad for us. She says that she likes working in the early
morning hours because it is quiet and she can do more work than during the day when there are other distractions (of course she doesn’t mean us....I’m pretty sure that she is referring to the other hoomin who I do understand that he can be rather distracting and even annoying at times....especially when he tries to ignore me and not give me the attention I demand or...’forgets’ to feed meowself and Tolkien of course!). 
But while she stays up late this has a double effect on our routine (meowself and Tolkien’s of course) as we can’t play at night as we’ll normally do when hoomins are asleep without being watched  (again and to make it very clear we are very considered when playing and we won’t make too much noise or jump on the bed too often so to wake up the hoomins) and also and as a result we can’t get her up at reasonable time in the mornings because she is too tired and sleepy to take any notice of our attempts to wake her up....She seems to be fast asleep and can’t hear a thing....which is of course just terrible because we have to rely on the other hoomin for our breakfast and he always gets it wrong and we don’t get our proper breakfast....so we have to wait till she is up and about to eat properly....what a nightmare I’m telling you!
See how bad things are for us? Plus with the hoomins around all the time there is no knowing what they are going to do and when.... as they are so unpredictable at times! They might be spending time in front of the TV or they might be doing what they call working which of course is the worst thing ever as it means that they get busy with what they are doing and they then totally ignore us for hours....So with hoomins around you don’t know when it is play or snoozing time....when they are going to give you attention or even when they’ll remember to feed you….they can be soooo bad I’m telling you!
No. 51 position that only Tolkien can find comfortable for resting...not a kitten!
And as for the attention giving thing....yes this is another totally new situation as well as hoomins have now become so clingy and they demand attention from us most of the time even when we are pretending to be snoozing (Tolkien is bad at this as well too....). There is really no escape from them anymore....we can’t seem to be able to keep any safe distance away from those demanding hoomins any more!

Yes the whole situation has gone really really bad at home and my home doesn’t feel like it is my home anymore...it feels rather crowded with the hoomins at home everyday now....even Tolkien thinks it too. The scary thing is of course that the hoomins keep saying that they don’t really know when everything would actually end and they can start going back to work...or even worse they are now have start thinking of doing this as a permanent solution....so they could work from home all the time! Oh what a horrible thought....hoomins at home all the time for ever!
Nope having hoomins at home all the time it is not good for my mental health I’ve decided (on top of having to put up with Tolkien too of course. You can read all about his misadventures on hoomin’s comic Life with Ozzy and Tolkien which is now available to download on Amazon). 
I guess this is how it would feel if you were living in a haunted house and you were being watched by spirits…It feels that that they are everywhere and that they are watching you all the time....(the hoomins of course not the spirits), wherever you go they are there....they follow you everywhere and sit in all of my favourite spots, chairs, sofas (and bed which now they are also using during the day for what they call little naps....lazy hoomins). You know I don’t even like hoomins cleaning my litter trays that often either....the whole house is far too clean for my liking....
So for my sake and of course Tolkien’s too and naturally for the hoomins own well being I think that it is about time that they start going out again for a few hours at least so we all get our quality and alone time at home....things need to get back to normal very very soon....or else your cat here would soon lose it....
So please hoomins take into consideration our own health too and spend some time outside....Fill up our bowls first and then go outside hoomins....fresh air would do you good....

Till next time a close to nervous breakdown cat...

Purrs and meows for now!

Well and if you want to check that comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available on Amazon

Also and if you feel generous and you want to help some of our senior cats with their vet bills so they can have a good old age you can do so by donating: So please click here:

Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins! 




Monday, 23 March 2020

Things are getting really bad with hoomins...and Tolkien at home!

Yeah...Tolkien would have done this to hoomins...silence and  feline self distancing at times too! He is a little bully though!
And here I was last week thinking that things can’t really get any worse... how wrong could I have been…seriously!
Yes things have got a lot worse this week and it is more than likely that they would get even worse the following weeks as well with hoomins having to stay at home 24 hours every day and not going out at all....they have been apparently told to do so…good grief!
You know I’ve always thought like many other indoors cats I guess that having the hoomins at home all the time would be a good thing....Yeap you’ve guessed....and as probably many cats out there know by now it is proving to be a terrible thing! Hoomins at home 24/7 is a nightmare situation....and it has already just started!
Don’t get me wrong I don’t want my hoomins to go outside and catch anything bad like that nasty virus that is threatening all hoomins now, of course not (if they are not well you know our life would be affected as well…you need healthy hoomins to fill up those bowls and change the litter trays). I want my hoomins to stay safe but and at the same time I don’t want my hoomins to drive me insane with their constant attention seeking and attempts to give meowself and Tolkien unnecessary and not needing tooo much attention! You know of course too well what I mean since and all of the sudden those hoomins seem to have far too many hands that they are always stretching to give you a hug and pick you up....So enough is enough....no more attention please I need to have my own private space so please hoomins keep your safe feline distance at home! And you can’t even have one of these safe spaces either as hoomins seem to know these days every single spot in the house that we try to use to hide....especially when it comes to Tolkien....which is rather funny really as he is sooooo bad at hiding in general.

You know and well before hoomins started spending too much time at home life was sooo simple....there was an order and routine....no hoomin chaos! You know waking up your hoomins at a certain time in the morning, then see them leave the house for some hours when you could have the entire home to yourself (even with Tolkien around) then and when it was time you’ll welcome the hoomins back home and have a nice relaxing, enjoyable  evening being pampered, getting sufficient attention and food from the hoomins...as I’ve said normal stuff (which hoomin described not that great but sufficient enough to explain our normal life pattern in that notorious comic Life with Ozzy and Tolkien which you can download now from Amazon). Of course you had the hoomins staying at home the whole weekend but it was tolerable as it was only for 2 days and they’ve used to spend a lot of that time to relax and not to do much and bothered about us constantly....but now...having them (along with Tolkien of course and his weird habits of constantly eating cardboard and other unhealthy things like hoomin’s marmite....by the way liking and eating spaghetti is not that weird....to be clear on that!) at home constantly and indefinitely has become sooo stressful! 
Tolkien is still terrible at the art of hiding...a disgrace really!

It’s all that constant attention and being too affectionate all the time that I can’t take anymore....it’s like they feel guilty all of the sudden or that they are very bored or something…The only time I get some peace and quite from the hoomins is when I’m having a nap or pretending to snooze while I can still hear them going....ooooh this… isn’t cute the way he sleeps and oooh that...he is so adorable, let’s take some more photos while he sleeps, sits on his hammock or scratching post, sits, eats....when all these is ever going to end? I can’t even find peace and quiet when I’m using the litter tray these days as Tolkien would usually follow me as well....
I guess I should be grateful that I’m not the only cat in the house and Tolkien is also sharing some of the insane over attention and clinginess from the hoomins at the moment as well....otherwise I don’t know what I could have done....At least there are a few hours in the night when hoomins go to bed and then we get some peace and quiet and a bit of freedom to do what we want to do....

But of course there is also one good thing with hoomins being at home all the time....our food bowls are never empty...at least something to be grateful for! I do hope though that hoomins won’t run out of cat food as they keep talking about things running out...the nightmare of that of course!

Anymeows better go now and check on these hoomins again to see what they are up this time and of course to make sure that all bowls are full!

Purrs and meows till next time!

Well and if you want to check that comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available on Amazon

Also and if you feel generous and you want to help some of our senior cats with their vet bills so they can have a good old age you can do so by donating: So please click here:

Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins! 


!!!NEW!!! If you want to have a portrait made of your furry companion check this site for more details at: Dog Art



Monday, 16 March 2020

Helping the hoomins it’s not always the best idea...

Tolkien is trying once again to play hide and seek...this time he’s forgotten to hide his big paws!

Well, here we are and another week has just passed and things have not got any better...if anything there are as bad as they were last week or some might say that they’ve got a lot worse. I’m not talking of course about the problems that currently all the hoomins are facing with....not that I don’t feel sorry for those poor hoomins who are not feeling well right now but I also think that they should see the positive side of things...you know  that this really a great opportunity to stay at home and spend some quality time with their cats and other furry and four legged friends and companions that they may share their homes with... 
No, no, that’s most definitely not the worst thing that has happened well at least to me recently....You know of course by now that one of my hoomins created a sort of a book, a comic which she called Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien (you can check it for your self at Amazon if you don’t believe me) and where she has some sort of pictures of meowself and Tolkien showing what we supposedly do at home when we are on our own or when hoomins are also at home....Of course there are a lot of wrong things in that comic and which wrongs I don’t really have the time to mention them all right now...and in particular of course the worst of all....the fact that we are been shown as not real cats but instead as comic characters who always seem to be getting in some form of trouble or causing some kind of mischief....which of course as you probably already know by now is not true. 
What I did find very insulting though  is that our all attempts to be considerate and helpful to hoomins are being misinterpreted and we appear like we are trying to hinder instead of wanting to help....so not true!

Tolkien having a little snooze after helping hoomins with the housework...soo lazy!

There are so many things that we do for our hoomins and there is most definitely not time right now to go to a very detailed description. So I don’t think that is fair that our hoomin can’t see how helpful we really are....There are also a lot of things that we do on a daily basis that they were not even mentioned...
A good example is my constant interference for the maintenance of the litter trays since Tolkien has yet to figure out how to cover and therefore he needs my assistance so everything is being covered properly....You are welcome hoomins for my assistance when it comes to the litter tray and for trying to make life a little bit easier for you...Then there is of course my food assistance with Tolkien as well as with the hoomins. I always make sure that Tolkien doesn’t waste any food as well as the hoomins and even sometimes I’d taste it for them to make sure that is safe for them to eat....again you are welcome hoomins...
There are so many things that I do help hoomins with such as the cleaning of Grizzly’s house every time while Tolkien keeps an eye on Grizzly while he is wandering in the house on his ball when meowself helps the hoomins with his house cleaning. I’m also helping the hoomins with the changing of the bed covers although in many occasions Tolkien would also give a paw too. 
And of course let’s not forget how much I help the hoomins with the cooking and of course and very importantly with catching those pesky water drops in the sink as no one else is as good in catching drops than meowself and hoomins are totally clueless...

So yes we help a lot around the house, even Tolkien too in some occasions and we are not in any way the troublemakers the hoomins make us to be in that comic....so I think it is about time that the hoomin at least tells the truth, how that whole book is just a fabrication, a make up story, it’s not real....we are not in any way lazy, demanding or we are causing any trouble....we are the purrfect cats....well meowself anyway.


Better go now as hoomins needs assistance in the kitchen...

Purrs and meows till next time! 

Well and if you want to check that comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available on Amazon

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that if you feel generous and you want to help some of our senior cats with their vet bills so they can have a good old age you can do so by donating: So please click here:

!!!NEW!!! If you want to have a portrait made of your furry companion check this site for more details at: Dog Art

 Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:


Monday, 9 March 2020

Life with Ozzy and Tolkien apparently it’s a comic not a proper book....and I look ridiculous too!

Ozzy takes another long and deserved nap....he always works too hard!
Well  here we are again after another not that great week. Well actually it was a rather bad week for me at least. Now and and if you remember recently I’ve mentioned how unhappy I was with one of my hoomins’ as she was plotting to write some sort of book about living with meowself and Tolkien. You see I didn’t think it was a good idea then (or now) to let the world know how we live our lives at home....we are after all very private cats...and hoomins perhaps!
So guess what she did write something which is not really a book... it’s a comic book where meowself and Tolkien look more like cartoons instead of the proper handsome cats we are.... (you can buy or read the book now on Amazon ).  OK, OK I’m only talking about meowself of course, here as Tolkien is not that cute really. He is somewhat OK I guess for a big awkward kitten!

Available on Amazon now to read or buy
But of course today we are not talking about Tolkien and how plain he looks, OK he might be soft with kinda of pretty copper eyes but that’s about it and where all his cuteness ends. Or I’m going to mention his really bizarre eating habits...I mean who ever heard of a kitten eating crisps or liking marmite and cardboard for snack! Such a strange kitten....let’s hope that as he gets older he would get out of all these weird habits but let’s face it we are talking about Tolkien here so I don’t really have much of a hope for improvement!

So let’s leave Tolkien for a minute, he is a subject after all that I would come back to it again and again in the future, no doubt about it and let’s talk instead about this stupid comic book which makes meowself and Tolkien, well particularly meowself look rather stupid....To be honest here there is not a lot of difference between real and comic Tolkien really. He is the same ...stupid Tolkien in both versions!

Oh Tolkien is sooo stupid sometimes...comic!

But seriously now who would like to know or read about Life with Tolkien and Ozzy at home during the day and in the weekend? It’s not that we are doing anything different than any other indoor cat usually does to help his hoomins with their daily life such as helping them get up on time in the mornings, entertain them in the evening and of course help them with the house chores in the weekends. Just normal stuff!
We usually do our very best and try to be considerate and help our hoomins as much as we can so I see no reason for the hoomin to try to make us look like the evil meowselves who only care about food and good snoozing spots…so not true...well talking about meowself of course....Tolkien is rather inconsiderate so she can do whatever she wants with him as he deserves it and he doesn’t even care!

So yes I’m not at all pleased to see meowself in a comic and I hope that the hoomin doesn’t make any more. But she can if she wants write a proper book where she can represent us as we really are....handsome cats who are keeping this house and its hoomins in order...without us it would be only chaos....well without my assistance of course not weird Tolkien’s naturally!

So do me a favour and do not read or buy that comic because you’d most definitely get the wrong impression about meowself....as I am the best cat there can be of course (not Tolkien).

So till next time
Purrs and meows!

Well and if you want to buy or read the comic book Life with Ozzy and…Tolkien is now available on Amazon

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that if you feel generous and you want to help some of our senior cats with their vet bills so they can have a good old age you can do so by donating: So please click here:

!!!NEW!!! If you want to have a portrait made of your furry companion check this site for more details at: Dog Art

 Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:


 Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins!




Monday, 2 March 2020

When hoomins are at home…cats not happy!

I am having a well deserved snooze...those hoomins are sooo exhausting!
You know I am very fair when it comes to well...all situations... and in particular when it comes to hoomins and even when it comes to that peskyTolkien….grrr that youngster!
I’m an easy going cat and I can always see the positive side of things and I’m always trying to make the most of every situation no matter how bad or desperate it might seems. 
You see I’m a very reasonable cat and I’m always trying to use logic and my own intelligence to navigate through even in the most difficult situations.
For example I’m always trying to make the most of any day situation I might find myself into… You know when it comes to the week days when hoomins don’t spend a lot of time at home as they would usually do during the weekends...you know those days which and as we’ve discussed it before they become very lazy and totally useless to even stick to normal feeding times even for themselves at times. You see when it is a week day I know what time hoomins need to get up so meowself and Tolkien would try our hardest to wake the hoomins so they are not late to go to their work place because they have perhaps overslept and therefore didn’t have enough time to do all their morning chores such as making sure that our breakfast was served on time, etc, etc.
Then we also know when it is time for them to come home in the evening so meowself and Tolkien can get ready for them....waiting at the door so to make sure that they’d turn towards the right direction when they get in where the kitchen is so they can fill up those been empty for hours food bowls of ours before they wander in the rest of the house to do other things that hoomins usually do such as change their clothes for example....you know things that they can be done always later on after meowself and Tolkien had our dinner of course!
Then there are the weekends of course when meowself and Tolkien do our very best to help the hoomins with the housework when they do of course decide to do anything at all other than watching TV and being lazy that is....pfft hoomins!

Yeap...Tolkien has no shame...showing all these nipples to the world!
But then there are those times when hoomins do things that they are not part of any known normal  routine and which things seem to just confuse us! You know when they have what they call holidays during the week days and then they stay at home instead of going to work....sooo confusing! I mean it is a weird situation when hoomins stay at home for days upon days and only go out for short period of times....in such situations what can you make out of this?
They just destroy our routine and we then need to get used to a new one and then when we do they start going back to work again and then you have to go back to the old routine again....I’m telling you it’s just so strange and confusing for cats like meowself and Tolkien. I mean during those holidays they do not do anything at all that they would normally do any normal day such as getting up at a certain time to prepare our breakfast! You know you have to wait and wait till they are ready to get up before you have your breakfast, which means that you end up being too weak to do anything yourself....they almost leave us to starve….such cruelty from our own hoomins….And the bizarre thing is that no matter how hard meowself and Tolkien try to wake them up nothing seems to be working....it’s like they are deaf or something....We’ll go through all our plans, you know our different methods of waking up the hoomins which usually work pretty well during the normal days...we only have to use plan B most of the times before they are up but during those holiday days not even plan D seems to work....Nothing will get them up, and in particularly one of my  hoomins who sometimes will stay in bed till midday, if you believe such as thing! It is almost impossible to get her up....Tolkien on the other hand I do admit is more convincing at times and more successful...see I’m too kind even when hoomins are unreasonably late!

And it’s not just their sleeping habits that they are strange and unpredictable when they are at home all day. You see they then even go to bed really really late which again it makes it almost impossible for meowself and Tolkien to have the house to ourselves and have some decent chasing and playing around....it works so much better when hoomins are in bed sleeping....not of course that we are trying to keep them awake with our little playing time....of course not we are always very considerate and very quite too of naturally!

So it’s not the late morning and very late night hours that hoomins keep when it comes to sleeping during those holiday days....it is also the fact that they are become very forgetful too when it comes to our dinner times! I mean they forget to refill our bowls as often and as a result we end up eating a lot less than we’ll normally do any other day that is....It is those days when they try to keep an eye on what we eat and then try to cut down some of my food portions....you know when they’d say things like:....’Oh he is eating too much again and he has put more weight so he needs to eat less....’ nonsense of course I say! I don’t eat a lot....I’m only eating when I’m hungry or peckish....

Nope, I don’t like it when hoomins are at home during the normal week days....thing are not as they are supposed to be and hoomins are not acting like normal hoomins and as a result we are suffering too. 
So I’ve decided I’m against hoomins holidays....they are better off at work....and I don’t like it either when they are working when they are at home....because then they also tend to ignore us for hours along with our food bowls which they need frequent refilling!

So I’m glad that today is everything back to normal and I do hope that hoomins won’t stay home till it’s the weekend again.

Better go now now....refilling time!

Purrs and meows till next time!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that if you feel generous and you want to help some of our senior cats with their vet bills so they can have a good old age you can do so by donating: So please click here:

!!!NEW!!! If you want to have a portrait made of your furry companion check this site for more details at: Dog Art

 Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:


 Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins!




There are so many ways that you can entertain your now always at home hoomins!

Here I’m showing hoomins some proper yoga poses....upward cat! So here we are again and another week has just passed and hoomins as always a...