Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien

Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien
The misadventures of Ozzy and Tolkien at home

Saturday, 23 February 2019

The things I way

I have said it before and I would say it again....each kitty is an individual like hoomins are and therefore he or she behaves in his or her own way....we fo things different and there is no cat way of doing things, OK?

Let me give you an example then, you hoomins should know that us kitties, we all sound different when it comes to the cat talking or meowing...some of us learnt from you hoomins to like hearing our voice and we meow a lot, most of the times and especially to our hoomins because this is the only and better way to make them understand us.

Hiding from hoomins, here....                        

You see, hoomins, love to make sounds all the time (even when they sleep...they call it snoring...something that we also sometimes like to copy....snoring is not very coherent though but it can be rather loud and very annoying....especially when you try to sleep that is!). So because hoomins prefer sounds as a way to communicate with everybody, including us, instead of trying to understand other more subtle and quiet ways of communication like body language....yes, those strange hoomins! So to make them understand us we tend to create our own different sounds that we think the simple minded hoomins would understand, we don’t want to make them too complicated now, do we, as everybody knows that hoomins are not that intelligent and therefore they can’t really understand complicated conceptions some of our ways and thoughts....So each cat would use different meows to “talk” to his/her hoomin, so you would have different meows for example: “I’m hungry”, “Leave me alone I want to sleep”, “I’m bored now hoomin, try to entertain me”, ‘I need some attention’, etc to give you some examples...Of course some kitties are more talkative than others like Choo Choo and Faiht who they never seem to stop and others like myself they don’t like meowing too much or too just a few occasions only....too much effort to try to make hoomins understand you with sounds...actions I say are better than meows. So hoomins stop saying that I can’t meow like a cat...I meow like Ozzy, like Faith meows like Faith,  OK?
But of course meowing/talking  is not the only things we do talking is only one of the things that each cat develops according to his or her own needs. Another good example is my own purrsonal zooping style who hoomins think I do is my own, purrsonal style and I do it is just my own way of doing things, I do not march, I’m zooping. For you out there that they don’t know what zooping is allow me to explain....really you don’t know what zooping is? It is of course the fine art of kneading soft material like my hoomins clothing, it is a making you feel good activity and which is also very should try it too hoomins when you are stressed.... it is very very relaxing...Every cat does it his or her own way though so there is no right or wrong way to do this....just enjoy it!

The other thing that I also find rather annoying is being accused by the hoomins of not acting not like a cat but instead behaving like a puppy, a puppy is a dog, right? How dare they, accusing me of being….a dog? Whoah, this is a big insult, really!  No proof what’s so ever.....because I like following hoomin around the house, occasionally I do not, in any way, act like any dog, small or big....I’ve just want to make sure that hoomin is OK as they can be clumsy and careless sometimes, that’s all, no insecurity here involved, no way! I’m just doing my duty like a kind and caring cat to my hoomins!

Hoomins! Pfft sometimes they are so strange and difficult to understand but I guess they do have  their uses and they do seem to like they can be forgiving for being so weird at times and not that smart either…

Anymeows better go now I think I saw hoomin moving around, better go and check on him.

Purrs and meows till next time!

Monday, 18 February 2019

When hoomins are acting really strange….Why hoomins have to be so affectionate.....why, why?

I don't seem to be able to understand this hoomin obsession of being sooo affectionate with each other and even worse with us....why oh why do they have these needs to touch, cuddle, pet constantly and even the worst thing of all...kiss, yuck! Is is a sort of disease that all hoomins have? And if it is a disease is there a cure? Because they do need to be cured….permanently as it is getting out of contol!
I mean what is with this kiss kiss business? Why do they need to cuddle and kiss, what is the purpose of this behaviour? You would think that us, kitties being furry and easily loosing some of that fur would have being a sort of deterrent to all this kissing business....but oh no, hoomins are really really weird and they don’t seem to mind at all, quite the opposite they become obsessed and seem to enjoy the whole process....So the whole process keeps repeating itself, in the morning when they leave...kiss kiss goodbye, in the afternoon when they are back and they are excited to see us, kiss kiss again...going to bed kiss kiss and of course there are always the in between sessions as well for no apparent reason what’s so ever for them to be that affectionate…Yes I know hoomins loves us and want to show their love and affection but there are always other ways to do so….like providing extra food, treats, boxes toy things, etc just to name a few acceptable and logical forms of love and affection expressions!

 I mean and don’t get me wrong I don’t mind some controlled affection such as the occasional scratching on the head or under the chin and even the touching of my belly in a few occasions which occasions should be more than enough for hoomins to give me the attention I need and to also show to my hoomins some affection too (you know I do the occasional biting of the fingers, toes and other available extremities and head butting when least expected of course as any respectable kitty would do of course) so it’s not that I don’t like them after all but all this excess and uncontrollable affection that they are showing are beyond my understanding as is too much hoomins, so stop it now,

Please hoomins stop being so affectionate and most importantly stop all this kissing business is really getting out of control. Especially on these special days you seem to have hoomins and  when you totally lose it and you can’t stop yourselves, like the other day last week, which was some sort of weird day for hoomins, you know one of these days that they allow themselves to eat too much or to eat things they try to avoid all year around because they are bad for them and that day all of the sudden they are not so bad….weird hoomins! Anymeow such days they hoomins acts really bizarre and along with the overindulging they become unbearable nice, they talk in that weird voice they use when they want to be super nice, they even use silly names and they become…too clingy….special valentine kitty, nonsense! So unbearable the whole thing and I can tell you that I even have the proof to show as well as they were even marked me with red stuff on my neck, which it took me ages to get rid!
One moment here I was relaxing, unaware....

....and the next I was attacked by hoomin...marked with red stuff!

There are not many days like these thankfully but those days are really a nightmare as hoomins acting really strange and they are not behaving like normal hoomins, they are becoming monsters and are behaving like they are trying to give too much unwanted attention! If there was some extra treats or food to go with it at least it might have been a bit more tolerable, it was only for one day after all, but no they were just being crazy, out of character hoomins and no real good came out of that, not even an extra treat....just a red stain on my neck! I really really don’t like their Valentine day you know....glad it’s over and hoomins are acting like hoomins again!

Anymeow better go now and check the food bowls for the night...

Purrs and meows till next time…if I survive my hoomins that is!

Wednesday, 13 February 2019

Things we do that hooomins don't seem to understand

Well it seems to have been a while but you know, I have been busy, busy. Hoomins weren’t too well for a few days and guess who had to look them after? Of course it was me….I’m the one you know, who is supposed to make sure that they are OK, at least alive so they can get up to feed the other three and the little one in the plastic box (strange cat….really) so I had to make sure that they were out of bed on time even if their alarm was quite. I’m the one you know who sits on them, on anybody’s face (I do not discriminate first thing in the morning), head, back, etc, bites any exposed fingers, toes I can find, tries to hide under covers like they do when they are pretending they can’t see me or hear me. I’ve also tried the knocking off things from the tables, the loud, pathetic and kitten like meowing, the scratching at the door, the opening off the blinds at the window (yeah that wasn’t very successful really…), etc, etc. All hard work as hoomins were a lot more harder to convince to get up than normal days….even weekends….that cold thing they had it was really hard to beat. But thankfully they both are now back to their normal selves so my job is not that hard in the mornings again!

But of course you hoomins you know that you know that you are hoomins and that we are actually cats and therefore we have our differences (although sometimes you talk to us like we are like you….which we are not but we understand a lot more that you are telling us than you think we do). No what I mean about difference isn not only that we kinda look a bit different, you know we have nice soft fur all over (unlike you who need fake fur to cover your baldy bits) we also  use 4 legs to walk (this is why we walk very gracefully unlike you hoomins who you can hardly stand on your two feet) we have a nice long tail which helps a lot with balance and alo makes us look pretty cool, we have whiskers to avoid pumping into things (what you hoomins have? Oh nothing!) and we...well let’s face a it we are a lot prettier than any hoomin ever was or can be....yes, yes you know it is true and you can’t deny it....admit it and you make yourself a favour but make it plainly obvious why we are so important and in your lives….you need to look at us and admire our feline beauty….true, soooo true!

But of course I won’t deny it either, there are lot of similarities between us, especially when it comes to certain behaviours and ways of thinking as long as some physical similarities of course, yes we do remind you a lot of many ways or at least how you wish (deep down of course) you would yourselves looked like. This is why we are your best companions and you like us so much....It is often quite difficult for different species to co-exist in the same environment and for so long but we, ourselves and hoomins seem to manage to get along just fine as hoomins understand us and serve us well!

As I’ve said we do have a lot in common with hoomins and liking stability, routine and familiarity is a common feature that we all share, as we don’t like changes and we like things to be the way they are....a nice familiar, warm home with plenty of food and enough attention at regular times is what all we like and no changes or intrusions please!

But there are always some things that we cats do like doing and we are behaving in certain ways that often hoomins don’t seem to understand and seem to get puzzled by.
Of course you don’t understand us, hoomins, you are not cats, remember?....So you’d never understand or appreciate what it means for a cat to express his emotions by running like he is chasing something or somebody or appears that he is being chased by somebody after he has used the litter tray....that feeling of running aimlessly from one end to other end of the house like he is on fire is something that I’m afraid that hoomins will never do understand or ever appreciate....or running in general for what appears to be no apparent reason...again hoomins you are wrong as there is always a good reason for everything we do...even when we lick walls or hoomins arm pits and hair...I don’t wanna go that far though as pretending that eating bombay mix and pistachio nuts is something that I like or have tried as....this is a bit extreme for me but of course I don’t point the paw at anyone as there are others out there and each cat has his/her own preferences and likes....So what one cat likes doing is not what all cats like, each one has his own…ways. We don’t all like the same food, or the same toys or scratching surfaces and sleeping areas and not all get excited after being the litter tray or like running or even playing with strings or balls or toy mice or anything else for that matter...some cats just like sleeping and eating (and they don’t even get fat....I’m talking about Choo Choo, Faith and Ripley....grr). Yes we are all different and have our peculiarities as you call them hoomins...but the truth is that you do like us the way we are....don’t you hoomins?
Some like Faith might like for example using their paw to get attention from hoomin...she actually thinks that she has a hand like hoomins do....while others like Ripley and Choo Choo just choose to meow really loud when they want something from the hoomins...mostly food really. As for me...well I only need to play the cute card and show my cute belly and the hoomins would obey me no questions asked, really!

Each and every one of us would use their own way to communicate with hoomins while and at the same time would also do things that might not fit the general cat behaviour but would entertain us and make us what we are....pussycats with attitudes, like our hoomins!

Till next time meows and purrs

Hey hoomin what are you doing down there?

Sunday, 3 February 2019

Sunday’s misadventures

You know not all kitties in this world, well at least not in my home are equal....Some are getting a better treatment than others and sometimes that isn’t right. You know,  when you think you are at the top of that ladder and hoomins have a slight preference  and right so, for a certain kitty than the rest....Well at least this is what I thought about my hoomins....but I was soooo wrong....
You know a kitty does everything right, everything that he is supposed and expected to do like a cat in my position and yet is not being appreciated enough or gets the same privileges the other cats in the house have....because he is not old enough....and the others have priorities because of age and illnesses they have (yeah right...they are faking it more likely!).

You see I’m the one who always there where hoomins are, under their feet all the time, as expected, checking everything that comes through that door to make sure that is safe, checking all the food bowls to make sure that the food is good for everybody (you don’t want now to have them eating food that is off), demanding attention all the time, especially at times when hoomins pretending that they are busy doing something else, when clearly they just sit there on the sofa in front of the TV doing nothing and they just want to be entertained or pretending that they are reading (yeah right). Also I’m checking their own food to make sure that is safe for them when eating, waiting for them at the door in the evening when they do finally come home from god knows where they have been all day. So you see I’m a caring and consider cat that does everything and perhaps a bit more than a cat in my position needs and expected to do.

Unlikely the other three of course who they don’t care about anything else other than having their dinner on time and having clean litter trays....they don’t care whether their hoomins are at home or not as long as there is food in the bowls and the house is warm enough for them to snooze comfortably.

And guess what they do get treated better than I do....Choo Choo gets to be fed where he sleeps so he doesn’t have to move a lot and he also gets an extra pillow and hot bottle water underneath to sleep so he is warm and comfy...pfft!

Pfft..Choo Choo looks a bit too pampered to me!
Faith gets extra chicken because she needs to take some kind of medicine apparently....nonsense I say and Ripley.....yes Ripley, gets extra of everything and she can eat and sleep wherever because apparently she is old and have some sort of illness and can’t move a lot....again nonsense....she is just faking it so to make me look bad and appear to be a bully.

Poor me just sleeping in the corner
And what do I get....I sleep in the corner of the sofa without complaining (no, no sleeping on the bed at night doesn’t count as I’m doing it for hoomins so to keep them warm these cold nights....) and not allowed to eat the others food because I’m fat (again I’m only doing so food doesn’t get wasted and once again I’m not fat I just look fluffed up because of my fluffed up fur  places in these cold months of winter, you know like the birdies outside )...Hoomins!

Anymeows better go and check bowls now as there is hoomin movement in the kitchen.

Purrs and meows till next time!

Friday, 1 February 2019

My favourite spots in the house and how to make sure that nobody else uses them....

The one thing that each kitty has in common with all the other kitties it is of course  having favourite spots at home where he can relax and snooze without being disturbed by other cats or hoomins in the house...

Of course there are always plenty places to choose from and some are better than others dependent of their location in the house of course! I, myself have many spots in the house, some better than others, some which out of the kindness of my heart I share with the other three and some whičh are just mine and nobody's else! Well a kitty has to have some boundaries you know.

You see there are many factors you need to take into consideration when you are picking a favourite spot in the house, for example ideally you want a warm, quiet spot somewhere quite high above ground so you can keep at the same time an eye on what’s going on around, you know, to make sure that hoomins and cats are all behaving accordingly....Of course different times of the day or even different days and seasons need different locations in the house to accommodate one’s needs. For example in the winter and at night time you want to share your bed with the hoomins as they are quite cosy and they can keep you the summer or when it is hot you want to keep hoomins away from the bed if possible and if not and they are as expected quite stubborn about it then to find the best and coolest spot of the bed and because you are kind and considerate you might even let the hoomins to have a spot on the bed too...if they are good and behave that is...

Then there are the sofas and chairs...again different times of the day and days determine which chair and sofa you will use and whether you’ll share that sofa with the other kitties in the house or any of those pesky hoomins....when it is really cold then you allow your hoomin on the sofa (the one who is the softest and quite comfortable that is) and then you rest and snooze on their lap....again for the extra warmth that is (but of course you let the hoomins believe that you are being affectionate and caring….hmmm hoomins are so gullible sometimes!).

Quite often I would share the sofa and the bed with Choo Choo as he is quite OK as other cats go  that is and I like him especially when he is not grumpy as he can be quite fun to be with but I rather not share any of my favourite spots with the two girls, pffft, as they are really fussy and very very grumpy....nope Ripley and Faith do not share with me, pfft girls, they think thêy are so special or something….

Now as I’ve said before there are many spots in the house which I like and prefer for snoozing and resting but there is one that is absolute mine and nobody’s else and that is the top of my platform....which hoomins got me and I don’t like sharing with anybody cause it is mine and nobody’e else, simple as that, the hoomins got it only for me. I like sitting there cause I can keep an eye on everything inside and outside as it is next to the window....and I get a very good view when birdies and that pesky squirrel come to the feeder, besides as the the other three are a bit older than me they are not so keen on climbing on that top spot anymore so my favourite spot is quite safe....although I’m not quite sure I understand what hoomins mean when they are saying that I’m getting too fat for it now and it started to look like the leaning tower of Pisa,,, nonsenses...I can still get to problems....
Very strange box indeed...not a very good fit for a kitty!

But of course it is natural for a kitty like myself to sometimes get a bit bored with the same old spots and as a result to try and find new alternative ones....I’m always trying for something new like the plastic box where that small strange cat that hoomins call hamster lives....I mean what is so special about is quite messy and there is strange food everywhere (I mean how can he eat that stuff…it tastes disgusting).... so I’m not so sure about its appeal really....I do admit that I like trying new boxes and this one is particularly interesting but I’m not quite sure that is the right fit though for me....what do you think? Hmmm...very strange looking box indeed....

Anymeows better go now hoomins are filling the bowls again...till next time fellow box sharers....

Meows and purrs!

The wars of the blanket and the mystery of the underwear draw….

MY BLANKET…Tolkien cannot have it! Hallo hoomins and cats out there in the wide world outside. Another week has just passed and a few things...