Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien

Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien
The misadventures of Ozzy and Tolkien at home

Tuesday, 28 May 2019

Bad moments of kitties that hoomins shouldn’t be laughing at....

Well, everybody knows that we, cats, are almost and in every way purrfect (OK, maybe not everybody knows, I know that those stupid dogs don’t have a clue really but they don’t really count so let’s move on...) and we do everything with grace and dignity....I mean look at the way we move, we clean ourselves, we stare at hoomins and the world, we run, we chase…etc, etc. Everything about us is full of mystery and charm...we are the kings and queens of our hoomins’ homes.... and hoomins adore us because of the way we are…But of course there are moments in time when things do not always go according to plan....I mean we do have very very occasional moments when things are not that purrfect after all, but these moments are rare, beyond our control and most definitely not to be laughed at by hoomins....because if we then start laughing at hoomins at their silly and very often stupid mistakes or mishaps they too often are making…well, then and more likely we would never stop laughing at them!

So we except from hoomins a bit more understanding and not to laugh when you know...accidents do happen!
So when and for example in a few occasions let’s day I might miss the kitchen counter by  miscalculating the distance between the floor and the counter I really don’t appreciate the hoomins’ reaction of laughing loud while shouting ‘Ozzy, you are too fat to jump that high’d break the unit, ha, ha’....not funny at all. It was a genuine mistake, a miscalculation from my part because of the kitchen not having sufficient light at the time! It had nothing to do with the way I am, not being heavy or out of practice or anything else that silly!  I’m most definitely not fat! We have discussed this before, many times before hoomins....I just look big, that’s all....So next time you’ve tripped over and fall flat on your faces hoomins I’d be there laughing loud myself, even if you can’t hear me as we cats don’t laugh the same way as hoomins...but you can tell by the look in our eyes and how we look at things that we find at certain times rather amusing...or silly and funny!

Also and regarding the little incident with the litter tray the other day, hoomin, you have no evidence so you can’t tell who was responsible for that little accident, it could have been any of us and not just me....Again I’m not that fat and I’m not getting too big for the litter tray, you don’t need to get a bigger one....such a nonsense....That was an unfortunate accident and no one should be blamed for...don’t you hoomins having accidents when you want to use the toilet? I have heard you, quite often, saying that you laughed too much and that you’ve almost had an accident....see? You too hoomins have accidents and we cats don’t blame you or make any fuss about it.....So I would expect the same reaction when there is the occasional know sometimes you’re miscalculating spaces and you are in a hurry....

See? I’m looking, not judging...where is my dinner hoomins?
As I’ve said we cats are purrfect.  in every way, better than dogs and hoomins and very very rarely can we be accused of unfortunate accidents but sometimes there are some situations when we don’t seem to have totally control....In those occasions we expect from hoomins to be more understanding and less judgemental as we are...we don’t judge you and you make mistakes all the time....Like right now for example, it is well passed my dinner time and my food bowl is still empty...not criticising, see? Waiting patiently for hoomins to move towards the kitchen...because I’m a very understanding and considerate kitty when it comes to hoomins impurrfection!

Purrs and meows till next time!

Monday, 20 May 2019

Not all things are what they least to a cat that is!

You know sometimes I do get a bit fed up with hoomins and their misconceptions about us, especially of what they believe we like and we might not like....You know hoomins think they are toooooo clever and that they know everything there is about us, like they can read our minds or something….such nonsense...of course hoomins can’t read our minds.....we, cats, on the other hand and although we don’t really have to or even try to, we simply know what hoomins think and what they’d do in every situation, we are what hoomins call...very intelligent creatures (some might even think that and since we are so intelligent why we don’t rule the world and let hoomins do it so badly…well, I say everything in good time, all good things come to those who wait and they are patient…).

Now, a  good example of what I’m trying to say here is when hoomins get us what they often call expensive toy thingies  to play with...You see hoomins seem to think that we don’t really understand the concept of playing with things that they are not real! Of course we know that that fury or plastic thingy that moves on the floor is not a real mouse or what ever else it supposes to be but nevertheless we will still play with it because we like playing like hoomins or other animals often do and of course we don’t have to be a kitten to like playing with moving can play at any age. Playing is fun at any age and for any species, not just hoomins, you don’t have to act like you are on a real hunt, you can still pretend and have fun at the same time without causing any harm to anyone….we kitties know that very well, even if we don’t think like hoomins think or believe that they do….
Because playing is fun and a good exercise to do! So and because we know that we are playing with what is not real prey and we don’t really care that we can’t really catch and kill the prey in the end, we therefore can play with anything that we found entertaining and fun to play....and I mean anything. so hoomins shouldn’t be surprised when I for example like playing with a little square box which I’ve just found abandoned in a dark corner, under the sofa....You see I like playing with it because it is fun, I can throw it in the air, bat at it, kick it and do anything I is my toy after all, isn’t it now hoomins? Because it isn’t round and doesn’t roll it doesn’t mean that I can’t have fun with it....As each of us kitties are unique so are our own playing preferences therefore I like what I like.... I don’t like chasing fake mice or birdies but I like playing with my own stuff (although that red spot is still very irresistible.... to catch and I will soon or later, it won’t escape my claws…). I just like having a bit of fun now and then....On the other hand I don’t think that is fun to chase flies or spiders or even mice and birdies....I think it is cruel to chase creatures that they don’t bother you....that feather though hanging from that string is very interesting....

Yes, this is my new favourite toy....what about it hoomins?
So my playing habits are not really strange but rather unique as I am of course....I mean it is a lot of fun to leave cat litter all over the house on the carpet after you’ve visited the litter tray and then watch the hoomins completely ignorant about it stepping on those small pellets when they are not wearing any shoes and hear them shouting all these bad words!!!
It isn’t cruel but very very funny....hoomins can be very amusing at times, you just have to watch them behave silly.... Besides I like playing cat litter lego, hee hee!

Anyway better go now, hoomin alert in the kitchen....

Purrs and meows till next time!

Wednesday, 15 May 2019

When hoomins are not well...things are…a bit different!

I must admit my hoomins don’t get what they call ‘ill’ very often....well I think that they are not getting ill...they don’t show any of the obvious signs that is....I mean you can’t really miss it when they are ill because they are becoming unbearable....
You know one morning you wake up normally, you are your happy and cheerful self and you want to pass that cheerfulness to your hoomins of course by trying to wake them up so they can get up and get ready for the new day, you are doing all your normal routines, you know, sitting on their face, biting and licking any available and exposed extremities, knocking things from the table, messing up with the blinds, jumping on the toilet seats in the bathroom to make some noise, scratching at the carpet and furniture, etc, know normal daily stuff and then you get nothing from the hoomins, well at least the one who usually gets up first and prepares our breakfast! Absolutely nothing, no movement, not a sound not even a glimpse of an open eye....nothing, no reaction whatsoever!

Then of course you start to worry a bit. What’s wrong with hoomin why there is no reaction or any movement is she dead or something (the other hoomin won’t usually move for at least another half hour, he is the lazy one and least likely to go to the kitchen to prepare our breakfast, so there is no much point bothering him in the mornings...of course he has his uses later in the day, especially when it is time for snoozing or getting a bit of attention and playtime....but definitely not in the mornings!).

So for the next half an hour I try in vain to get up the hoomin up and things kinda look despair till of course it is time for the other hoomin to get up. Then you realise that something is not right with first hoomin as the second hoomin gets up and goes to the kitchen (unheard of) to prepare us our breakfast...of course and because he never gets involved with our daily feeding schedule and obviously because he doesn’t want to bother other hoomin, he gets it all wrong and gives us our dinner instead of our should expect that after all this time he would at least know what we usually have for breakfast and what for dinner but again we are talking about hoomins and some are not as clever or intelligent as others.....But of course what can you do, you have to eat after all so you eat what you have on your bowl because you are hungry and you meow a little to complain like Faith does (well she meows about everything anyway) but there isn’t much else that you can do....

So morning goes pretty quickly and other hoomin is still in bed with no much of a sound or movement under the she still alive, you know I was still wondering worryingly of course. So the second hoomin leaves and the other hoomin is still in bed and the house is very quiet....So and as there is much really to do than having a snooze myself and since hoomin was still in bed I thought that I’d better join her to keep her company and of course to know if and when she was likely to get up and perhaps go into the kitchen for a snack or something (she would had to get up at some pont….).

But of course and although the hoomin didn’t get up as normally as she would do in the morning because quite obviously she wasn’t feeling very well she nevertheless got up later on and checked that we all had been fed and topped  up our bowls (I don’t think she trusted the other hoomin that he had actually fed us....hee hee...I wasn’t going to tell her that he had...she didn’t need to know in her condition) and checked that everything was OK before she went back to bed....

I must admit the whole day was a bit unusual, having the other hoomin doing a lot of the not well hoomins chorus (and not doing them well…you know some hoomins are quite bad at certain things than others…) but and at the same it wasn’t actually that bad as one hoomin stayed at home all day and I had somebody to sleep on the bed and got a lot of attention for being such a loyal and good cat....not bothering hoomin and keeping her company, you know doing a little bit of nothing....

Me getting some well deserved attention from hoomin!
Hmmm, you know now that I’m thinking about it, I’m not sure that it was such a bad experience after all...maybe hoomins not being well and staying at home all day is not a bad thing after all, extra feeding and more attention must be a good thing...
Oh well at least my hoomins are specially nice to me now....they think I’m more loyal than the other two lazy ones....hee hee! That day worked quite well after all, more treats and attention for me!!

Purrs and meows till next time...

Monday, 6 May 2019

Something hasn’t been right at home....

Hello hoomins and other kitties out there, how your week has been so far? Mine hasn’t been that great really I’m afraid….
If you remember last week I was telling you that something wasn’t right with hoomins, they were acting a bit more pecualiar than usual that this....yes I know they are hoomins after all and they are expected to behave strange....but no,  this time they were acting really really strange...even for hoomins!
For starters they were quieter than normal, they didn’t seem to get annoyed with everything I did (not that I do things to annoy my hoomins on purpose of course, but you know sometimes things do happen which things you can’t seem to be always able to let’s call them accidents!). Not only they didn’t seem to be getting annoyed with everything we did (it wasn’t only me but the others too as well) but they were really forgiving and again very very affectionate (nope no anniversaries or birthdays or any weird hoomin holidays this week to explain their soapy state this week either!). Another thing that I found strange as well is that they both seemed to be rather sad and to often talk quietly to each other.....Yeap something hasn’t been right all this week...Hoomins were not behaving like hoomins....
I’m trying to catch that pesky mouse over there....can’t reach it grr!
And there was the other thing as know when you get the feeling that you are forgetting something or somebody….It felt that someone was missing, not being around anymore....Hoomins were really good though at keeping me entertained so I haven’t been bored or anything that it could have explained why I was feeling rather sad myself  but still it felt that there was something else that I should be doing….not with the hoomins!

Faith being Faith was spending all her time in her little house in the hoomin’s office/study room and she usually only comes out when she wants to eat (or wants some attention from the hoomin when she is working) meowing and demanding from the hoomins to have her food ready for her....She is such an impatient cat you know it’s unbelievable! I won’t usually take the hoomins’ side when it comes to us, kitties, but when it comes to Faith you have to feel sorry for the hoomins, they are trying their hardest to please her but she is sooooo demanding....if her food is not ready when she wants it she would walk away and the hoomin then would have to
 go and fetch her back! Such a little drama queen Faith is....because she had a little health scare a while ago hoomins try to always feed her first and to make sure that she is not getting stressed....but of course Faith is totally milking the whole situation and overreacts to get the attention and food she wants from the hoomins. Of course hoomins are very gullible and they’d do their hardest to make sure that she gets what she wants when she wants it....Unbelievable behaviour!
As for Choo Choo, well he plays the I’m too old to do anything card so feed me now hoomins or I’d starve  works as well (or too well) for him too! He only has to meow once or pretend that he has some difficulties with climbing on some high above ground areas and hoomins are again too easily fooled and they’d try again their hardest to keep him happy and stress free...anything that Choo Choo wants Choo gets....poor hoomins so easily deceived! Again despicable behaviour from a cat of any age I say!

So you see myself, I try to be honest with hoomins, I don’t pretend that I can’t do things or that I need help from the hoomins or get annoyed too easily if my food is not on my bowl when I want it....or even meow to be fed and make a fuss if hoomins don’t give me the attention I want when I want it (well I get a lot of attention sometimes which it can be at times a bit too much actually so I’m not that needy when it comes to the attention matter from the hoomins).

Anymeows what I was telling you before I got distracted with those two lazy cats who they are so demanding and deceitful that makes me feel ashamed being a kitty myself and feel sorry for my poor hoomins that they are trying their hardest to please us? Oh yes, that something wasn’t right at home this past week....yes something is definitely not right and something seems to be missing and I still can’t figure out what it is and why hoomins were sad and very forgiving, especially with me....Nope I’m still in the dark…what is missing?

Well I better go now, feel kinda peckish after all this talking and pawtyping but I’d figure it out eventually  and be certain that I’d let you know what is that I can’t figure out yet that is not right...

So purrs and meows till next time!

The wars of the blanket and the mystery of the underwear draw….

MY BLANKET…Tolkien cannot have it! Hallo hoomins and cats out there in the wide world outside. Another week has just passed and a few things...