Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien

Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien
The misadventures of Ozzy and Tolkien at home

Monday, 31 August 2020

There is no such thing as Ozzy the bully....hoomins are telling lies!

See? I fit purrfectly on my hammock...too small for Tolkien!

You know once upon a time there was a happy cat who was living with his two hoomins and a kitten who had no brains....they all were living together and they were very happy....but one day and rather suddenly things changed. The hoomins decided to become cats themselves so they’ve stayed at home all the time and they became very lazy and inconsiderate when it came down to how they were treating their very cute cat....as they’ve started accusing him of things that he was not responsible for....

 And now I guess I can breathe again. Yes it is true my hoomins have started accusing me for things I’m not responsible for....as I’m a very considerate and caring cat after all and don’t try or even think of harming anyone (even that pesky squirrel and fat pigeons outside….they can be sooo annoying sometimes though!).

I mean I’m not or have ever been a bully in my entire life....I might like to motivate the hoomins and guide Tolkien in some occasions so they do the right thing but I don’t bully.....I mean you only have to look on my cute face to see and then convince yourself that I’m not a bully....I’m too cute to be a mean cat!

 (You can still read about our life at home and of course all about the good times we’ve used to have at home in the good old days before March when hoomins behaved like hoomins and they’ve used to go outside often...in the hoomins comic Life with Ozzy.. and Tolkien available on Amazon).


Of course I do admit that Tolkien is very stoopid and often would try your patience with his stoopidity but I don’t bully him....even when he is very very annoying!


You see the whole thing started again last week after the arrival of this new scratching post which meowself and Tolkien really like and we very quickly learned to share....I’ve taken the hammock because it is the right size for my purrfect self and I’ve left the top spot, ‘the bed’ for Tolkien as it was big enough to fit his long ears, tail and legs (although he still manages to hang his feet and tail and even to fall off in a couple of occasions....because he is clumsy and too big and he likes hanging.....strange cat indeed!). So we are both quite happy sharing the new scratching post with no issues...

Tolkien with his big paws and tail can’t fit anywhere...

But now hoomins rather suddenly and unexpectedly are accusing meowself of trying to steal Tolkien’s top stop which of course is not true as I was only trying it out for him so to make  sure that is quite comfy for him and also the right size so he won’t fall off (which of course he did as he is very clumsy and he falls off from everything even the bed and sofa, chairs, etc, etc... Well.... really there is no hope for him). So I wasn’t really trying to steal Tolkien’s spot for him I was only trying to make sure that it is safe enough for him by having a little snooze up there meowself.....besides I prefer meowself the hammock below which is a lot more comfy and safe....the top spot is after all a bit too high for meowself anymeows.


But hoomins of course misinterpreted my actions and thought that I was trying to steal Tolkien’s spot and that I was also bullying Tolkien especially when we are playing and that I was pulling out his fur on purpose as well.....which of course is totally nonsenses....We are only playing and Tokien simply likes making silly noises and pretending that I’m playing too rough just to get the hoomins’ attention and get me into trouble too! I can also assure you that he is the one that makes all that mess with the carpets as well as he is very clumsy when he runs and he even pulls his own fur in some occasions so that it looks that I’m bullying him....I’ve seen him doing it! He likes getting a lot of attention from the hoomins because he thinks that he is still a kitten and to blame meowself for all his ‘unhappy accidents’ in the house as he is sooo clumsy and stoopid of course!


So there… I’m not a bully....I don’t bully Tolkien or the hoomins so to give me attention or food....and I do not try to steal the hoomin’s food....just tasting it occasionally so to make sure that is safe enough for her to eat!


Yes I’m very caring and considerate and kind and hoomins and Tolkien do not seem to appreciate meowself at all....despite all my good efforts.

Anymeows better go now to check on hoomins and Tolkien of course before he destroys the house again....oh no! He is on the top of the bedroom door once again! Now where are those pesky hoomins when you want them?


Purrs and meows till next time!


Before you go and if you want to check that mentioned above comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available to download or buy on Amazon


Ozzy and Tolkien would like to ask you to donate if you could so to help us with the ever expensive vet bills of our senior cats so they can have a good old age.  So please PayPal Ozzy and Tolkien’s hoomin. Thank you!


Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins! 




Monday, 24 August 2020

The battle for the new scratching post has started and the winner…meowself of course gets the hammock!

OK...the new bed is very comfortable and Tolkien is not having it!
 

So here we are again another week has just passed with the hoomins as always at home and a new one has just started and which it looks to be rather interesting...

You see rather unexpectedly the hoomins decided to get us a new scratching post/tree with different platforms, a cosy home, bed on top, scratching surfaces and a nice purrfectly fitting new hammock, much better than the old one of course!

It is true that the old one (which hoomins have now placed in a nice and more secure location in the bedroom so we can still use it if we want…I’m sure it’d get some use especially early in the mornings when the hoomins are still asleep…you know so to keep ourselves busy of course) had become a bit unsteady (of course I blame Tolkien for its condition as he kept jumping on it while he was chasing meowself and he is after all a big and rather heavy stoopid cat, a lot bigger than meowself despite what the hoomins think....I’m not fat, OK?). It was also a bit old, we had it for a long time now, way before Tolkien (BT) arrived (by the way you you can still read about our life at home and of course all about the good times we’ve used to have at home in the good old days before March when hoomins behaved like hoomins and they’ve used to go outside often...in the hoomins comic Life with Ozzy.. and Tolkien available on Amazon )! 


So yes it had seen better days (I do actually remember when the hoomin put it together when we had just moved here, the old good days when it was for meowself only, my scratching post/tree....well the others at the time were rather old and not interested in high place....although Choo Choo would sometimes climb on it to look outside the window...).

So I guess it was about time to be replaced with a newer version and of course I’m glad that hoomins finally saw the light and decided to replace it....but of course it would have been a nice surprise and with no issues developing whatsoever if it wasn’t for Tolkien....that big, stupid still thinking he is a kitten, cat!


The tree arrived today and the hoomin soon after put it together  of course....he knew that we couldn’t wait to have our new tree and to use that roomy new box of course! Well at least Tolkien that is as he is obsessed with boxes not just for sitting inside but also for eating and chewing....even the robot vacuum cleaner seems to have figured out that Tolkien chews boxes and makes a mess in the process so he (hoomins have given it a name and I think it is a boy name too....well in my opinion he has more purrsonality and he is a lot more intelligent than Tolkien anymeows!) keeps following Tolkien around the house so to clean after him....this is why he takes so long to clean the house....it is Tolkien’s fault of course, he makes so much mess! 


Hoomin of course took quite a while to put the tree together and he was also getting a bit annoyed too...and to be honest I don’t understand why he was getting upset.....and in particular why he was getting annoyed with meowself and Tolkien as we were only trying to help him to finish sooner anymeows! Those hoomins they don’t appreciate anything that we do it seems....


So and finally the tree was done but then the hoomin decided that the hammock was a bit too high so he undid it again, well the top part anymeows and then he put the hammock a bit lower this time....Still I think that he took far too long to finish it....he shouldn’t have taken that long in my opinion....it was an easy and quick job and if I had thumbs meowself I would have shown to the hoomin how it is done properly and faster!


Tolkien thinks that the box is his now....sooo wrong!


So the tree was finally put in its place and meowself decided to try it....and I can tell you with certainty that this a much better tree, I like it! Perhaps not so tall as the other one but it has a very comfortable top bed and of course an even more comfortable hammock than the previous one.....and this is what caused all the trouble as both meowself and Tolkien wanted to try the new hammock....of course and since I’m the older one here and the one in charge I was supposed to be the one who would try the new hammock first....but no, Tolkien wouldn’t let go and he was kept pestering me to move so he could sit on it too....Noway....my hammock I say!

Finally and after a lot of persuasion he eventually gave in and he decided to leave me alone and to try instead the bed on top which now he seems to like (despite the fact that he nearly fell off at first....too many legs and tails to fit all in!). So now he has decided that he prefers the top bed after all so I can have the hammock all to meowself! Finally!


I wonder though whether that top bed is really comfortable....it most certainly looks rather cosy....maybe I could try it meowself when Tolkien leaves....first gets there stays there I say!

I’d let you know next time!


Till next time purrs and meows!



Before you go and if you want to check that mentioned above comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available to download or buy on Amazon


Ozzy and Tolkien would like to ask you to donate if you could so to help us with the ever expensive vet bills of our senior cats so they can have a good old age.  So please PayPal Ozzy and Tolkien’s hoomin. Thank you!


Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins! 

 



Monday, 17 August 2020

Oh what a year it has been....for cats and hoomins!

Ha ha....hoomins have such a bad sense of humour at times!

So here we are again another week has just passed and hoomins are still at home full time and of course we also had the first anniversary of Tolkien’s arrival....Yeap it has already been a whole full year since that terrible day when hoomins brought Tolkien (or to be exact Tolkien’s previous hoomins brought him) to my home! What a glorious year it has really been (and yes I’m being sarcastic of course....this has been a terrible year by all accounts for everybody on this planet!). 

 (By the way you can still read about our life at home and of course all about the good times we’ve used to have at home in the good old days before March when hoomins behaved like hoomins and they’ve used to go outside often...in the hoomins comic Life with Ozzy.. and Tolkien available on Amazon

 I’m remembering it very well....the day that he arrived...it was sometime in August 2019 and despite the hoomins then efforts to hide him from meowself in the bedroom I knew from the moment he stepped a paw indoors that things were going to change...for the worst! He was an ugly kitten with all ears and legs....he looked more like a bat without wings and he was making also a lot of noise....all these meowing coming from such a small creature! Yes even then from the very start he couldn’t stop meowing... trying his hardest to make his presence known to everybody! 

Tolkien being Tolkien of course....oblivious to anything!

 Of course and as it was to be expected I fell for it (like my stoopid hoomins did of course) and took pity on him....you know I’ve felt sorry for him because he was abandoned by his first hoomins (you know like I was many years ago of course) and my hoomins took him in because they too felt sorry for him....he was after all very little and not very cute for a kitten....really (again the hoomins beliefs do not count on the matter....as they thought then that he was cute.... what do they know those hoomins as even now they still believe that he is a pretty cat.....pfft silly hoomins!). 

 So yes I felt sorry for the little guy and when finally the hoomins let him out of the bedroom I was very welcoming and friendly towards him as he needed a good home. So I’ve decided of course that I would let him stay at my home and that I could also teach him the cat ways so he would become the purrfect cat that I was meowself! But of course and as you probably remember too well all this time that and despite all my efforts (and the hoomins of course) Tolkien didn’t learn a lot or and to be totally honest he didn’t learn anything at all....Tolkien was and still is impossible to teach anything because he is not that clever....he’s never figured out that he is a cat and not a hoomin! 

 It is a shame of course that despite all my efforts he didn’t learn even the basics of cat behaviour....And frustrating as it might be he still doesn’t know how to play hide and seek, how to be cute for the hoomins and how to convince them to get attention and food anytime he wants....It is meowself that has to do all the hard work....He is incapable of behaving like a grown up cat and behaves like he is still a kitten....which unfortunately sometimes it does seem to work with those silly hoomins who are still in some occasions taking his side... 

But what can you do? Tolkien would always be Tolkien I guess and he would still be chasing the robot vacuum in the house believing that he is another cat, he would be still mocked by the squirrel and the wood pigeons outside....and he would be still distracted during dinner time so I could finish his food for him...But he is and despite all his faults and stupid sometimes behaviour a good cat to have around as a company…even if he is getting on my nerves sometimes with his constant demands to play and get attention from meowself when the hoomins are ignoring him…. 

 Oh well, things could have been worse I guess and Tolkien might had some sort of usable brain after all....nah.....not very likely! It’s good to have somebody around that you can blame for everything that might go wrong! 

 So here to another great year then with that big black kitten with no brains....I’m really glad that hoomins adopted him after all! 

 Till next time then…purrs and meows! 

 Before you go and if you want to check that mentioned above comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available to download or buy on Amazon 

 Ozzy and Tolkien would like to ask you to donate if you could so to help us with the ever expensive vet bills of our senior cats so they can have a good old age. So please PayPal Ozzy and Tolkien’s hoomin. Thank you! 


 Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins! 


Monday, 10 August 2020

These hoomins and their peculiar sometimes ideas....which a cat can’t always explain!

A little competition with Tolkien here....and the winner is meowself of course!
 

So here we are again, another week has just passed and things haven’t changed much. Which of course is a good thing for a cat like meowself who doesn’t like changes after all, small or big. So my hoomins are still at home full time, apparently working and not going out very often, well at least as they’ve used to because things out there in the hoomin world haven’t gone back to normality as yet, it seems. Which again and I’ve said it many times before I don’t really mind, I like it when hoomins are at home and I’m not one of those cats that they want their hoomins to go back to their work and leave me at home all alone (OK with Tolkien too. By the way you you can still read about our life at home and of course all about the good times we’ve used to have at home in the good old days before March when hoomins behaved like hoomins and they’ve used to go outside often...in the hoomins comic Life with Ozzy.. and Tolkien available on Amazon) for hours....nope I prefer the hoomins to be at home to serve meowself when I need them. Of course I don’t really mind it when they spend some time doing what they call work....they need some purrsonal time to themselves and besides I do have meowself things to do as well like...snoozing undisturbed for example. 

But of course there are a few small things really  that they can be rather annoying....sometimes, such as being accused by the hoomins of doing certain things at certain times and which things are so out of my character to be remotely true (it might be of course that they are suffering from some form of mental fatigue and they haven’t as yet fully adapted to this new way of life and therefore they are simply imagine those things they say that I do….hmm more likely I think). 

You know such things such as meowself becoming very vocal and even meowing to meowself at night time when I’m on my own because I want the hoomins or Tolkien to give me attention which of course isn’t true. I don’t meow or do any cat singing at night time as there is no reason for meowself to do so. I don’t know what they think they can hear at night but definitely it’s not meowself....I don’t get too excitable and playful when the hoomins go to bed and most definitely I don’t snore that loud the hoomins can’t sleep or they can’t even hear the TV or that I’m even keeping Tolkien awake sometimes....I mean this utterly nonsense! I’m only a cat after all and cats don’t snore well at least they don’t snore that loud...I do admit that I might occasionally purr a little loud but this is just a nice and comforting purr and it is more than a lullaby so soothing that can help anybody go to sleep!

So these are just false accusations and confusion from the hoomins’s part....I don’t know why they are making up all these lies just to have some fun with me but I’m not going to fall for these silly games they are trying to play with me to entertain themselves.

Tolkien thinks here that he can beat meowself...wrong again...silly cat!

And most definitely I’m not going to help them with their exercising anymore....Besides they seem to be getting the wrong idea after all and start thinking that I want to join them as well too. I  don’t of course. There is no way that I’d start doing any of these silly hoomin things like yoga to keep meowself healthy and fit. I’m the picture of health and fitness after all, an excellent example of purrfect cat physique....and I’m not in anyway fat or I have a fat belly.....hoomins have no idea what a fit cat should like. Besides I only wanted hoomin to give me a little scratch and to keep him company while he was working out and not to take part in his silly exercising game....silly hoomin, again!


And of course amongst all these horrific events Tolkien seems to be getting worse as well as he now appears to be taking the hoomins side too and allowing them to blame meowself for all the naughty things he does....as he now has figured out how to use the cute card too. But of course this doesn’t stop him from still doing silly things such as falling off from the bed....twice...he is after all too long and stretches too far when he sleeps on the bed....of course this is not really an excuse for falling off the bed as this is something that not even the silly hoomins would do....silly cat!

He is also not so keen on this hot weather too it seems and he tries all these silly ways to keep himself cool like playing carpet in front of hoomins feet and hoomins are not very happy when they have to play cat twister with him....especially in the kitchen and in particular when they are trying to cook or bake....

He has also now developed this weird habit too and he starts growling when he sees hoomins passing outside as he prefers birdies and squirrels to hoomins he says....well it is a good thing that he doesn’t have to go outside I say as they are a lot more hoomins out there....annoyingly. It was so much better when there were hardly any hoomins out there....because I do admit it I’ve used to like it when there were only birdies and that annoying pesky squirrel outside in the good old days.....


Anymeows better go....it’s time for my singing to start it seems....


Purrs and meows till next time!


Before you go and if you want to check that mentioned above comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available to download or buy on Amazon


Ozzy and Tolkien would like to ask you to donate if you could so to help us with the ever expensive vet bills of our senior cats so they can have a good old age.  So please PayPal Ozzy and Tolkien’s hoomin. Thank you!


Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins! 

 


Monday, 3 August 2020

Sometimes a cat at home needs to have some fun....and to stay away from the hoomins’ cleaning monster!


Here I am again...with Tolkien trying to escape that cleaning monster on one of the few remaining safe places in the house!
Here we are again and it is now August, and hoomins are still acting as strange as they have always been the past few months with all their crazy new healthy and keep fit regimes and their unhealthy obsession with constantly cleaning the house now that they are at home all the time....Did I not mention it before that hoomins are also obsessed with cleaning these days?
Oh yes my hoomins along with the previous mentioned (a few times already) obsession of doing exercises and silly yoga to keep fit and their trying to eat some disgusting types of food so they can stay well and healthy other routine (I really missed sharing chicken and other tasty meat and fish dishes with my hoomin....the occasions when she’ll eat chicken or fish are so rare these days....ah the good old days when hoomins used to eat like normal hoomins, well at least one of them anyway are so far away....almost forgotten memories now. By the way you you can still read about our life at home and of course all about the good times we’ve used to have at home in the good old days before March when hoomins behaved like hoomins and they’ve used to go outside often...in the hoomins comic Life with Ozzy.. and Tolkien available on Amazon) they have also developed the constantly cleaning the house as well obsession it seems!

Tolkien sitting on the hammock ignorant of the havoc that cleaning monster is creating!
They have recently brought home more gadgets to help with cleaning and now we have more than one noisy vacuum cleaner as well as other cleaning similar gadgets which means that hoomins are vacuuming and generally cleaning the house more frequent than they’ve used to do so when they were working and didn’t spend so much time at home before so to see how messy it gets (well, in the hoomins’ opinion of course as meowself or Tolkien for that matter do not share that opinion). So now we have the normal vacuum monster that hoomins use on a weekly basis along with that other steaming monster that they use to clean floors and carpets and on top of that there is also that new robot like vacuum cleaner which is a lot bigger and noisy than the smaller one the hoomins used to use before in certain areas in the house. This one is more monstrous than the vacuum cleaner and it goes everywhere in the house, which also means that there are now no places to hide in the house left....it would find you where ever you go and under the bed is not as safe as it used to be anymore....
I’m telling you it has become so hard these days to find a good hiding spot in the house where you can spend some quality time away from the hoomins particularly those days when that robot monstrosity is cleaning the house....no peace and quiet when it is around...pfft cleaning! And meowself once upon a time thinking that Tolkien was the worst distraction and nuisance that I had to deal with....if only! I can deal with Tolkien, he is so easily put on his place....but there is nothing that I can do to stop that robot monstrosity from disturbing me when I want to snooze....Even sofas and chairs are not safe anymore as hoomins keep moving them around so everything gets cleaned thoroughly.

Nope I most definitely do not like the hoomins’ new obsession with cleaning....the house doesn’t need to be that clean...a little mess and dirt is quite healthy in my opinion! Nobody should live in a totally clean house....it’s not good for your mental and physical health I say!

So and as a result of all this keeping the house clean during the day obsession the only time that I can have a bit of fun and I can make the house feel like it is home is of course at night time when the hoomins are too busy either watching TV or doing other stuff other than cleaning! It is the best time for a cat like meowself to have some good fun with my best toy....my lovely and loyal feather and Tolkien of course which is so easy to chase around the house and being so big and clumsy of course he then gets accused by the hoomins for making all the mess....Besides hoomins say that I look very cute when I play with my feather and that I’m an example for Tolkien on how to play without causing too much damage....one of these days Tolkien would learn from meowself they say....to play like I do....without causing a havoc! Those hoomins are so gullible sometimes….he, he!

Anymeows better go now....feather to play with and Tolkien to chase....especially now that the hoomins are not watching!

Purrs and meows till next time.

Before you go and if you want to check that mentioned above comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available to download or buy on Amazon

Ozzy and Tolkien would like to ask you to donate if you could so to help us with the ever expensive vet bills of our senior cats so they can have a good old age.  So please PayPal Ozzy and Tolkien’s hoomin. Thank you!

Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins! 



The battle with the squirrel outside has ended...the battle with the rest of his family has just started!

Yeap that pesky squirrel is totally ignoring me again! Well OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a little here as things perhaps are not as dramatic i...