Monday, 11 November 2019

The secret to surviving a kitten is…I wish I knew really!


No I’m not fat and round...it’s just the arm of the sofa and the way I’m resting that makes me look bigger than normal!

Well here we are again, another week has just passed and living with Tolkien is proving to be a living nightmare....seriously!

For starters Tolkien has become very demanding and loud for a kitten who, he shouldn’t know how to meow properly at his age....So he has discovered that hoomins can not resist his kitten (pathetic) voice and now he meows constantly at the hoomins who feel sorry for him and as result he ends up getting everything he wants, including getting his food first, attention all the time when hoomins are around and not getting into any trouble when he is being very very naughty!
Tolkien has become now almost impossible to have around as he has become indeed very naughty and doesn’t listen or pay attention to me or anybody else and because of his very kittish behaviour I’m getting into trouble as well....I mean he has become a destructive force so much now that hoomins have to keep him out of certain rooms especially the room that the hoomins call the office because the moment he gets in there he is bound to destroy something or at least knock things of their place, which of course it also means that I can’t get in there as well now too….grrr!
Wherever Tolkien goes these days you can clearly hear the sounds of crashing and banging as he has no sense of how to stop when he is running at full speed and avoid crashing into things....he is an uncontrolled small black bull, you know....
Then there is his other very annoying habit of always being everywhere you are and evenwhere you are thinking that you want to be next....I mean I go to my sofa in the living room and he is already there waiting for me to give him his grooming bath....(OK, it’s not only the hoomins that they might be spoiling him a bit....he might be getting some attention from me as well, he is still a big stoopid kitten after all), I try to go to my hammock and he is already there pretending to snooze, I climb on my boxes in the bedroom...yeap he is there as well....and of course he is always on the bed especially when hoomins are sleeping which makes it a bit of a crowded place with all of us together I mean hoomins are usually not very consider when it comes to their sleeping habits as they tend to take too much space on the bed and they don’t leave a lot room for us kitties to stretch our weary legs and paws...I mean you think that hoomins should know by now that when it comes to sleeping on the bed cats come first and then the hoomins of course.

Now and talking about Tolkien being everywhere at the same time (sometimes I do wonder how he manages to be in so many places at the same time....as this is something I could never do of course) which of course it can be very annoying he has also develop another bad habit of trying to take over of some of my own responsibilities such as helping the hoomins with their chores such as doing the bed (this of course used to be my job but now not that Tolkien is helping them I prefer to stay in the living room instead so I can catch up with my napping instead, at least some good can come out of this!). Of course and because he is still a kitten he can not help himself of doing things totally the wrong way....You see hoomins need assistant when they are doing the bed and not to play with Tolkien....he needs to learn to go undercover when hoomins are putting the bedsheets on the bed so to make sure that they are doing the job properly by taking their time instead of sitting on top and try to look cute....wrong, very wrong!

Yeap Tolkien is a bat, the only logic explanation for spending so much time on top of things!

Then there is this newest adventure of Tolkien, his new climbing habits, as now and wherever he sees a door or cupboards high up and close to the ceiling he would then attempt to climb on top (not always being successful of course as sometimes he tends to rush and as a result he will then miscalculate the distance and he’d end up on the door and not on top of it!). But of course this sudden unnatural obsession of Tolkien to be always on higher above the  ground places might have some deeper meaning and it might be behaving this way because there is something seriously wrong with him...for example and now that I’m thinking about it this unexplained and strange behaviour it could be because Tolkien is not really a cat, something that which of course would explain some of his bizarre behaviours and his inability to learn any cats skills. I actually think that he is a bat and not a cat and I bet you any cat treats that very soon he would start hanging upside down from these high places....Yeap I got the feeling that hoomins got a bat instead of a kitten....

Then of course there is also the very recent developed bad habit of Tolkien as well...as now he tends to eat most of his food and he only leaves some scraps for me to finish.....which of course is not right...he doesn’t need to eat that much after all...he should leave most of the food for me instead as I’m a grown up cat and I need more food than he does. You know something I think that Tolkien is conspiring with the hoomins against me. I believe that they have brainwashing him so to believe as well that I’m actually fat therefore I shouldn’t be allowed to eat his food. This is the only logical explanation after all that makes sense as I don’t really believe for a minute that Tolkien needs or wants all that food....those pesky hoomins are behind this new plot to keep me away from my fair share of food....pfft!

Anyway better go now...Tolkien might have left some scraps on his plate for me...

Purrs and meows till next time!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that my hoomins are trying to raise money to help older cats such like Choo Choo and Faith were with vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover senior cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment)...so if you feel generous and you want to help cats like Choo Choo to have a good old age you can donate by clicking here:

Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range











Monday, 4 November 2019

Kittens are really really stupid...and there is Tolkien of course

Here I am, practising my hunting skills on these pesky drops...I’m getting better...no one would be able to escape me soon!
Well, I shouldn’t be saying this, after all kittens are small versions of us, cats, right? So really I shouldn’t be saying that they are really really stupid and even worse than hoomins at times but then again you don’t share your home with a kitten named Tolkien so you have no idea how bad thing are...at times!
You see, at first I was very willing to give him a chance, I’ve accepted him from the very start as part of the family and I even tried my hardest to try to teach him the basic rules of being a cat....But Tolkien is something else...not a kitten really or even some form of a hoomin. I mean he has all the characteristics of a small growing cat, ears, eyes, face, four legs, nice soft velvety fur and a long tail (some might say a bit too long perhaps) and thank god has none of the hoomins features. Well, you know what hoomins look like as they are quite ugly really but they do also have some vague characteristics that are some similar to ours such as eyes like us (peculiar colours though), weird dry most of the time ridiculously big noses, big mouth, teeth (which they don’t use very well), four legs, although their front ones are a bit deformed and they don’t use them at all for walking (how peculiar) and they can make noises like us at times but of course they have no proper soft fur or a tail (mostly peculiar, a species with no visible traces of some form of a tail at all....).
But enough about how weird looking hoomins really are as and at least they have some purpose when it comes to our needs but Tolkien on the other hand, well, he doesn’t seem to fit to any categories of species I can think of...because he is so stupid and everything he does, is wrong!
I mean everybody knows that this time of the year hoomins usually exhibit some of their weird behaviours which means that they do a lot of different things so to ‘celebrate’ what they call holidays such as Halloween and Fireworks night....
On Halloween night they’ll  take a weird looking orange vegetable which they call pumpkin and then they’ll mutilate it by curving weird faces on it which they think they look scary for some bizarre reason...(my hoomins like to curve cat faces on them for some even more bizarre reason...they are not very good at it anymeows). They then tend to put that ugly by now pumpkin at the window for a few hours with a lit candle inside so it looks kinda scary (well I told you hoomins are weird)....As I’ve said it is weird but it doesn’t really bother me...Of course as it is my duty I’d check it first to make sure it is safe and that there is no food hidden inside (you know those pesky hoomins how they like to hide food in strange places) and also to see how silly and not scary it looks and then I’d forget about it as and in general it doesn’t bother me at all, unlikely Tolkien of course. You see, being still a kitten, this was his first Halloween and pumpkin experience and he didn’t like it at all. I mean I’ve never known a cat to be so afraid of a vegetable and to freak out by just looking at it and to even scratch the hoomin that was holding him because he was soooo scared of a vegetable....I mean the whole things was soooo funny! A black cat to be afraid of Halloween....hilarious! He was hissing and meowing at the pumpkin that hoomins and meowself thought at first that he had seen another cat outside, not that he was meowing and growling at the not so scary pumpkin!  Only Tolkien could be afraid of a orange vegetable, a harmless silly looking pumpkin and not of the noise fireworks outside....Not that they bother me either but I won’t sit by the window to watch these noisy lights moving around outside constantly....what for? What is the purpose of these noisy fireworks really other than disturbing my snoozing....pfft!
Anymeows back to Tolkien again who has now discovered another door for climbing the one in the living room and so he decided to perch up there this weekend as he was kept falling and missing the door in the bedroom....such a silly, very very stupid kitten, really!
Here he is again....stuck once again at the top of another door...oh hoomin is Tolkien again...at the door!
I really despair with him and I don’t know what to do with him....I have to just leave him to the hoomins....I had more than enough and my patience has now worn out....unless he starts showing some signs of intelligence I don’t want to have anything to do with him....unless of course I’m bored and need a little bit of exercise as he is the only one available at the moment....although again he doesn’t get the message at night time when I call him to play and when hoomins are asleep....no matter how hard I try to call him he just ignores me....he doesn’t seem to understand that it is playing time when hoomins are asleep....hopeless really!

Better go now dinner time you see and Tolkien is fast asleep again!

Purrs and meows till next time!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that my hoomins are trying to raise money to help older cats such like Choo Choo and Faith were with vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover senior cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment)...so if you feel generous and you want to help cats like Choo Choo to have a good old age you can donate by clicking here:

Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:



Monday, 28 October 2019

Hoomins are really bad at learning anything...they are worse than Tolkien it seems!


Nope, we are not sharing....as long as he can keep his distance he can stay on my scratching post....
Well, another week has just passed and still I haven’t made any progress with Tolkien.... but at least now he has learned how to jump off the top of the door without hoomin assistance! I guess that is something positive....he is doing something on his own but he still makes a lot of racket when he jumps back on the unit...the whole place shakes like there has been an earthquake....I’m surprised the neighbours are not complaining or that we haven’t made the local news for the locally frequent tremors that do occur. But I guess he would end up getting bored with this new game soon enough...let’s hope of course that is sooner than later before he destroys the door or he...misses it!

But today I’m not going to complain about Tolkien....much, he is a kitten after all and he has no common-sense of brain it seems so to be held responsible for any of his actions....instead I would like to express my great annoyance with my hoomins and all the other hoomins out there of course as probably they are all the same! After all it is their fault, everything that it has happened from the moment they brought Tolkien home....First of all they’ve managed to find the kitten with no brain to bring home and secondly they’ve also decided to let him get away with everything just because he is young and stupid. I mean how is this really possible? Logic tells you that he would have been the one who gets blamed for everything and not the one who gets excused while the older and wiser cat gets blamed for some of things that he actually has done.....but again hoomins doing things the wrong way as always!
Then it is also the fact that often they don’t do the things they say they’d do....always going back on their word. Today for example Tolkien was supposedly going to see the vet for the big visit...hee hee (poor Tolkien) so I had really big hopes for the return of a different, changed Tolkien (you know....when there is sudden change of purrsonalities because of a certain procedure.....) and although I was feeling sorry for the little guy (well kinda...we all have been there when we were younger after all) but and at the same time I was looking forward to a few hours of being at home all on meowown without being constantly pestered by a kitten....So naturally and because hoomins were taking care of things nothing really happened. I mean he did visit the vet but nothing did happen...he had to stay off his food overnight of course.....poor Tolkien....I was surely thinking of him while I was having my breakfast and he was waiting expectedly from the hoomins to get his own breakfast....which of course it never happened....instead he ended up in the cat basket (well, he did get in on his own accord  after all and without any hoomin assistance....such a stupid kitten, going willingly to his own demise....pfft!) Of course and when he eventually realised and after the hoomin closed the basket door that he was going outside on an unfamiliar place he wasn’t very happy at all and made a lot of noises and attempts to escape....in vein of course! But because hoomins are not very clever themselves there was a mix up with the vet so Tolkien came back home without even actually seeing the vet....all this fuss and stress was really for nothing and my little break away from Tolkien lasted less than an hour....pfft hoomins, they can’t do anything right...
Of course this is one of the many examples of how hoomins are not very good in doing things properly...they are also very hard to train as well (even more difficult than Tolkien it seems if you believe it...) and to even understand basic given instructions....I mean I have been trying my hardest for the past few days to teach them to follow me in the kitchen when they come home from work so to fill up the bowls which they are of course empty and they don’t seem to be able to understand what they are supposed to do….very simple….just follow the cat as he shows you the way to the kitchen…Hoomins is not that complicated.....When a cat shows you the way you just follow and do what you are supposed to do, you fill up the empty bowls...very very simple! Three times I had to go to the kitchen and come back till hoomins finally got the message and decided to do what they are supposed to do....which it is of course the first thing they are supposed to do when they come home, to  feed the cats, well meowself first of course, Tolkien can always wait...he is still quite young.
Yeap...he is that stupid....he likes marmite, he would even steal hoomins toast  if he gets the chance...stoopid kittten!

How difficult is for hoomins to understand....phew! You know something, I think it might be better if I change my method of training with hoomins...I think I need to start using some form of vocalization...I know it’s very backwards, primitive behaviour for us cats that we have now evolved to such intelligent species who they don’t need to shout or meow to each other anymore but it might be the only possible way for them hoomins to understand! Yeap a few loud meows or more kitten meows like Tolkien does might do the trick after all! Such a hard work these hoomins!

Better go now....Tolkien is still recovering from this morning’s traumatic experience (yeah right hoomins, don’t fall for his pathetic excuse, he only went for a small walk, he didn’t even get out of the basket) and hoomins feel rather guilty....opportunity here for extra treats and top ups for meowself I thinkz!                                               



Purrs and meows till next time!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that my hoomins are trying to raise money to help older cats such like Choo Choo and Faith were with vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover senior cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment)...so if you feel generous and you want to help cats like Choo Choo to have a good old age you can donate by clicking here:

Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:




Monday, 21 October 2019

Why kittens can easily make your life a constant nightmare...

Keeping an eye on Tolkien so he doesn’t get into anymore mischief!

Once upon a time there was a happy cat, named Ozzy (meowself of course) who was living in a nice home with 3 other older cats and his two hoomins, who were the best purrsonal servants a cat like meowself could have wished for. Then and rather suddenly things. changed. Suddenly Ozzy wasn’t the youngest cat anymore, he had become instead the oldest one and there was a new kitten who hoomins apparently have adopted so for Ozzy to have some company, they’ve said, so not to be all alone when they weren’t around, they’ve said and to also to stop him from becoming very dependent and spoiled by the hoomins, they’ve said....and this is where the fairy tale ends for poor me and the nightmare begins!

So Tolkien had arrived and he was as you’d have expected from a kitten quite small and cute, as hoomins were kept saying and of course also, all new and ready and keen to learn how to be a cat from the expert and well qualified cat...meowself of course! Because I’m also a very kind, considerate, friendly, very tolerant (especially when it comes to hoomins and their many faults), easy going cat, qualities of mine which of course I know that you are very familiar with by now, I’ve easily accepted the small kitten and welcomed him into my home and started teaching him how to be a cat and how to annoy the hoomins when he wants something without getting into any trouble, as he had become my responsibility after all!
But of course and as you already know by now, Tolkien proved to be so far not the easiest or brightest kitten to teach anything useful....he has always been far too excitable, forgetful and also has become quite attached to hoomins and to prefer most of the time to be around them and not so keen on learning anything that a cat would need to know….(I don’t mean anything pointless like hunting small creatures or even flies and spiders which of course and for some strange reason have become Tolkien’s little hobby….)

I mean I have tried for so many weeks now to teach him the basics that any good cat should know but he is really really hopeless and in particular when it comes to playing (especially when he tries to hide or when is is supposed to find me or even try to catch and don’t let me start with his non-existent fighting skills….soooo bad!). He has also become a little thief as he likes stealing my favourite sleeping posts in the house and not paying any attention to me when I’m asking him to move from those spots and very very careless and extremely demanding and now also vocal when he wants something from the hoomins (mostly food and to play with....) which annoyingly seem to work with them, while they totally ignore me when I’m demanding attention….because I’m not small and cute anymore and I should also know better apparently!
He has now started developing really bad habits such as climbing in really high places such as the top of the kitchen cupboards and the top of the bedroom door....which of course it wouldn’t be the worst thing a kitten would do as kittens are quite agile, reckless and mostly stupid of course but then again he tends to find himself stuck up there and in need of hoomin assistance to get down....Hoomins spent the whole weekend getting him down from the door frequently and they weren’t very happy about it (they should have left him there for a while so that we all could have had a little peace and quiet time I say!). So did Tolkien learnt his lesson? Of course not....I mean what is the appeal at the top of the door? It’s a long long way up, and there is hardly enough space to move about let alone sit there...so why a cat, even a stupid kitten like Tolkien would want to jump up there? 
You won’t see me up there or even contemplating something that stupid....I prefer instead the safety of the sofa and the occasional thrill of jumping on the kitchen tops....At least there you have more chances of finding something tasty to  eat as hoomins tend to leave plates, trays or bowls in many occasions for me to clean for them and of course you can easily get to the kitchen sink as well for some drop hunting....That’s high enough for me....thank you! Of course this has nothing to do with age or me being too fat to try and climb that high, nonsense...it’s all about being responsible and not attempt to jump on places that they are far too high above ground and get stuck there and need hoomins assistance to get down…far too high for any cat with a bit of sense I should think!

Yeap, on top of the door again...can’t get down...oh hoomin it’s Tolkien again!

Now and of course every time that Tolkien does something stupid and dangerous like attempting to climb up in very high places and despite the fact that he is actually stupid, he is after all part of the family now and naturally I’m worried about him...this is the reason of course of me following him around all the time as I’m trying to keep an eye on him and to also protect him from things that they can harm him...like small enclosed boxes for example which might be far too small for him to fit in....I do not try to copy him of course just try to help him from getting to any more trouble and annoy the hoomins of course!

So and as you see it can be bad for a cat like meowself looking after a kitten like Tolkien  who he seems that he always gets into some sort of trouble...so I’ve always have to keep an eye on him, which can be so stressful at times....

So and as as far it has been a rather stressful day I think it is about time for me to have a little snack break...Tolkien is fast asleep on the sofa and he is not wandering around so this is the purrfect opportunity for me to check that the bowls are full again!

So till next time purrs and meows

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that my hoomins are trying to raise money to help older cats such like Choo Choo and Faith were with vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover senior cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment)...so if you feel generous and you want to help cats like Choo Choo to have a good old age you can donate by clicking here:

Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:


Monday, 14 October 2019

Kittens can pick up bad habits very easily (and it is hoomins fault!)



My hammock...see? I fit purrfectly!

Let me make one thing clear I have nothing against kittens (and especially Tolkien), they are our future after all (and I mean us, cats, of course) and we need to take care of them and teach them the right ways of the cat life of course! 

But naturally there are the occasions where kitten training can go very wrong, especially when there are hoomins involved, you know when they do get interfere and they try to teach kittens how to become cats....like they know themselves how to be a cat....of course they don’t know anything, they haven’t the slightest idea!

So for the past few weeks and since Tolkien has arrived I have been trying my hardest to teach him how to be a proper cat and I know of course that he is still very young and gets easily distracted and influenced by those hoomins but still there are times when it seems almost impossible to teach him to do anything… right! How on earth he is ever going to learn to be a proper cat when everything he learns is wrong and everything he does is always the opposite of what I’m trying to teach him? Sometimes I think that he is such a loss cause and that I should give up and leave the hoomins to take over completely, which of course it would be a total disaster....hoomins teaching a kitten how to be a cat, unheard of! What a preposterous idea! An utterly disaster!

The main problem with Tolkien is that he doesn’t listen or pay attention to what you are telling him...I mean he is not supposed of course to listen what the hoomins are telling him but he needs to learn nevertheless to listen to what I’m telling him....not to totally ignoring me and to think that everything is a game and it is OK for him to play with everything....including my precious tail, which is not a game of course! Tolkien you are not supposed to play with MY TAIL all the time....cats tails are not a toy like hoomins hands and feet where you can scratch, lick and bite them whenever you feel like...I mean he has now developed this big obsession with my tail which it doesn’t really make sense...he would always be there behind me playing with my tail...You know and like most cats I do love my tail and I do take good care of it and I don’t leave it on purpose in front of the hoomins feet to trip them over or I would try to trick them so they can fall over in their attempt to avoid stepping on it....because I really really like my tail...Now Tolkien doesn’t think a lot of his...always leaving in front of hoomins’ feet when they are not looking  and he doesn’t even like playing with it...well it is a bit long for his size but still he should take better care of it instead of being always preoccupied with mine...the many times I have told him to leave it alone and he has ignored me....frustrating to say at least, he doesn’t listen to reason or to my paws whacking at him!

So stubborn...he won’t listen, leave my tail alone or it would be trouble!

Then there is the other very bad habit that he has also developed…the stealing of my favourite snoozing spots...especially my little hammock by the window....by the way do not pay any attention  to what the hoomins are saying....I have not abandoned the hammock because it is too small for me or that I don’t really fit in there anymore...all nonsense, hoomin propaganda and lies! I’m not fat and it has always been my favourite place, no matter what hoomins might be saying...It’s not true that Tolkien started using it because I had abandoned it and that when I saw him using it then I’ve decided once again that I wanted to use it for snoozing as well....of course not, I didn’t get jealous or anything of that sort! Tolkien simply took over, moved there without my permission....he’s now stolen my favourite snoozing spot and he simply refuses to give it back and hoomins, to make things worse, are taking his side because they believe that apparently I’m too big to sleep there anymore, pfft! So absurd...it is my hammock and I want it back and I do fit as purrfectly as I’ve used to....besides the whole scratching platform it’s mine and I don’t feel like sharing it with anybody, especially Tolkien since he likes stealing my favourite places and then refuses to move when he’s asked to do so nicely.....Such bad habits....he should learn not only to listen to me but also to show some respect....stealing is bad Tolkien, this isn’t something that cats do….well, most of the times anyway!

You won’t see me stealing stuff from hoomins or Tolkien (after all most of his stuff are used to be mine anyway....I’m simply letting him have them because I feel sorry for him!). 

Anymeows better go now....time to check some food bowls...especially Tolkien’s, it’s probably still quite full....by the way this is not stealing....it is just making sure that food is not get wasted....


Purrs and meows till next time!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that my hoomins are trying to raise money to help older cats such like Choo Choo and Faith were with vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover senior cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment)...so if you feel generous and you want to help cats like Choo Choo to have a good old age you can donate by clicking here:

Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:



Monday, 7 October 2019

Kittens grow so fast and learn soooo little!



Some relaxing time in my own box...not sharing!



It has been many weeks now since Tolkien arrived and became our newest family member and although I didn’t really see him the first few days (those pesky hoomins they were keeping him hidden from me and they were pretending that there was nobody behind that closed door...they believed that they could trick me...who me, the one that knows everything that is going on in this house...pfft not possible to hide anything from me I say!) when we did meet he was still very small and stupid (well as stupid as he is now…that clearly hasn’t changed, after all that time!).

Yes I remember it very well, he was very small and looked rather lost and confused when he started exploring our home...he was not even sure about me and he was a bit weary at first. But of course as I’m a kind, generous, very tolerant and open minded cat I welcomed him to our home and I took him under my own protection, he became my responsibility(new blood, fresh meat!). After all who was going to teach him how to be a proper cat around here, not the hoomins of course, they don’t know anything and what they think they know about cats are mostly exaggerated lies and hoomin misinterpretation of cat behaviour (pfft hoomins!).

So yes, almost from day one I became Tolkien’s mentor and protector....there are a lot of things that a young kitten needs to know and to be aware of especially when he lives with other cats and of course hoomins if he is not only to survive but also to live well and learn how to get his hoomins to do always what he wants them to do....It is not easy understanding the ways sometimes hoomins think and behave especially if there is no one around to explain why hoomins behave the way they do....as they are funny creatures!

Of course hoomins were also willing to help with the training of the young kitten but naturally and as it was to be expected they end up doing things totally wrong and instead of teaching Tolkien to be a kitten at first they instead ended up totally confusing him....(this is why I had to stepped up and take total control of his training). After all there are really no rules in the house for any cat or there are really things that you are not suppose to do or areas and places in the house where you are not supposed to go in areas....really know,,,these are all just fairy tales....as any cat that has hoomins around knows too well! You basically own the whole house and you can do anything you like even if hoomins think that they have taught you some of their rules! You know it is better sometimes to let them believe that they are in charge at home and that they can tell you what not to do even if deep down know that is not really true of course...it just makes them feel better about themselves so we let them believe that they actually live in their own fantasy world...nobody gets hurt in the end anymeows!

So and going back to Tolkien I became straight away his only mentor and he became my little pupil and follower....and it was fun at first as he would easily and without asking any questions would do anything he was told to do...But of course things started to change as the weeks started passing away and he started to grow more and more....he became more difficult to control and teach anything useful! I mean he is still a kitten of course and he is still quite stupid and he still forgets things and acts on impulse without thought of the consequences of his actions...he would still run after that strange red dot and crash into walls and cupboards in his attempt to catch it....of course and in the unlikely case scenario that he does catch it, then, it would be all mine...after all this time that it had managed to escape me! But and to be totally honest with you I can’t really see him catching it...he is not that smart and the dot is far too clever for him to be caught that easily....after all this time I know how hard is to catch that darn dot!

He is also terrible when it comes to playing....I mean I like playing with Tolkien...he is a lot better than the hoomins who tend to get easily bored and to stop playing pretty quickly....when you are just starting having fun. So yes, of course he is a lot better to play with than trying to play on your own....but to be honest he is really pretty terrible at everything....For starters he is terrible at hide and seek...He doesn’t seem to understand the notion of hiding....that he must hide completely and not only part of his body (if even that!) or the idea of seeking the other purrson that is hiding....so I go into hiding and he forgets that he is supposed to find me....he then forgets everything... that he is supposed to be playing with me....Instead and quite often I would find him sitting on one of the hoomins...snoozing away completely oblivious to the fact that I’m still waiting for him to come and find me....seriously that kitten has serious issues with his memory it seems!
See? Not a clue how to play a hide and seek!
And don’t let me start with his chasing capabilities....he runs far too fast for me to catch him and for him to wait to catch me....how can you play catch when he runs ahead of you when you are the one he is supposed to catch? 

Seriously his playing skills have not improved at all after all this time as they still need a lot of work....You know, I think that the hoomins might be responsible for Tolkien being so bad at learning anything…they seem to have a bad influence on him. You know he is becoming as each days passes too lazy, far too soft, forgetful and doesn’t seem to care too much about his training anymore. He seems to like spending a lot of time with the hoomins and I believe that he has even started thinking that he is a hoomin too....

Those pesky hoomins....they will spoil Tolkien and he would not learn anything useful in the end.....of course and now that I’m rethinking it there is also a positive side on this…when he spends time with the hoomins he then spends less time with me which also means that I can catch up with some serious snoozing and extra snacking, which of course is not so bad after all! Hmmm! Hoomins might have some use after all it seems!

Anymeows better go now....snacking and snoozing time is fast approaching!

Purrs and meows till next time! 

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that my hoomins are trying to raise money to help older cats such like Choo Choo and Faith were with vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover senior cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment)...so if you feel generous and you want to help cats like Choo Choo to have a good old age you can donate by clicking here:



Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:


Monday, 30 September 2019

It’s really hard work being in charge of a kitten and the hoomins!

Seriously now....not a moment’s peace!

You know, once upon a time I was the youngest of them all, I was the baby in the family and life was very good until and very suddenly, in a very short time, I’ve became the oldest one, the one who is charge of everybody, hoomins and a kitten...I mean I don’t mind the responsibilities involved that much, you know, as you need some one with a bit of intelligence to run things around here these days but having to look after not only my two hoomins but also a very young and rather stupid at times kitten it can be too much even for some one as capable as meowself!

I mean my hoomins are expecting too much from meowself..after all they were the ones that brought Tolkien home and therefore they should be the ones to look after him and not to expect me to to do all the hard work instead....and he is really hard work, believe me!

You know and for one thing he is always there, one minute he is under the hoomin’s feet or close by and the next minute he is on top of me and he wants to play...fighting and he never wants to stop!
Play fighting of course is a very good exercise as you know for everyone especially for us, cats, as you can let out a bit of steam and you can always, well you know put someone in his place when he is too naughty, show him who is the boss around here...Nothing really serious of course like hard biting or fur removing or even scratching....you are careful when playing with another cat/kitten (but no always when playing with hoomins of course…you can be a bit ‘rougher’ in those occasions just to make sure that hoomins know who is in charge of course)....just pretending to fight and doing a lot of rolling around and also making some noises (it’s called energy release hoomins) so to freak out hoomins a bit and to think that we are actually fighting for real....hee, hee! But with Tolkien when playing there is no end to it...you play for a little while, then you stop, having a little rest and a small smack and then you can carry on with the playing if you feel like...but not with Tolkien as when he starts he doesn’t want to stop...for nothing! Not even for a little energy refill, a little snack break! You know it’s not that I’m old or anything but I do like to have little breaks when doing anything that requires some form of energy...it is the natural thing to do but not with Tolkien as he is constantly wants you to play....I even try to hide sometimes but there is no place to hide from him, he always finds you and jumps on you!

And when he doesn’t want to play with me he is then on course to destruction....I mean he is so careless and rough round the edges that whatever he does ends up in disaster...he is a little hurricane our Tolkien (even my hoomins sometimes think that too…we totally agree here)!
I mean he always runs into things because he has no sense of stopping in time before he crushes on surfaces....from one room straight into the cupboards in the kitchen...crash! He never stops on time. Then there is of course the climbing thing...now that he can climb almost anywhere in the house he often finds himself in high places and then he doesn’t know how to get down....he is lucky that hoomins are usually around to rescue him otherwise he would easily have found himself stuck on top of things for hours (hmm not a bad thing perhaps…some precious peace and quiet for a while!).
And of course there is also the chewing of things...I don’t know if this is a kitten thing or teeth issue but he likes chewing everything from cardboard boxes, wires, strings, fingers, toes and my tail and ears...
Yes and by the way what is with Tolkien and my tail...why he likes to play and bite my tail, he has his own, which it is quite long as well, so why this obsession with mine?....ahh kittens....who can understand them? Definitely not me or those silly hoomins who they think they know enough about kittens, if they did they would have managed to control the uncontrollable Tolkien!! Pfff!

Stop playing with my tail....play with your own Tolkien!

Anymeows better go now....it is getting late and it is quiet out there...maybe I can have something to eat without Tolkien playing with my tail this time!

Purrs and meows till next time!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that my hoomins are trying to raise money to help older cats such like Choo Choo and Faith were with vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover senior cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment)...so if you feel generous and you want to help cats like Choo Choo to have a good old age you can donate by clicking here:

Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:


Monday, 23 September 2019

Once upon a time I had peace and quiet at home...then hoomins brought home Tolkien...mistake?

Some peace and relaxation before a storm called Tolkien arrives!
You know it has been now quite a while since Tolkien became an unexpected family member….hmmm... and although I do admit it, he has been somewhat beneficial to my life at home as it was mentioned before...you know when he gets blamed for everything by the hoomins while I get to be praised by them for being such a good boy....he, he if they only knew half the truth....still I’m not so sure about him!

I mean (and although hoomins think he is cute and pretty….well what do they know really?) and as I’ve said it many times before he can be such a hard work to train to behave like a proper cat....Of course and on the other side he is always there when you want to annoy...sorry I meant to play with someone as hoomins are not always available when you want them and he is rather good at chasing and absolutely terrible at hide and seek...you know some times I really despair how stupid he can be...is this common with all kittens? Are all kittens that stupid really? I don’t remember myself being so forgetful and stupid when I was young...but then again I was always the smart one among kittens, big cats and hoomins around of course...But seriously now he is absolute terrible when it comes to hide and seek, especially when it comes to hiding part...he finds the most obvious places and hides some of himself while the rest, mostly legs and tail are out there sticking out for anyone to find...Does he call that hiding? Obviously he hasn’t learned by the master yet (meowself of course) how to hide when playing or when trying to hide from the hoomins....
He is also terrible in copying me...I mean it is quite nice that a young kitten copies everything that I do but it would have been at  lot better if he actually copied what I do correctly....I mean and you probably know by now that my little pastime is spending some quality time in the kitchen sink trying to catch those pesky drops that fall down from the tap, which of course needs quite a bit training and patience so to learn the skill and to avoid getting wet...well, I don’t think that Tolkien has picked that skill quite yet...I mean you are supposed to use the taps in the sinks and not to actually follow the hoomins in the shower while they are having their shower in an attempt to catch the waterfall that comes from the shower head as you are more likely going to get a bit wet, to say at least. He shouldn’t also attempt to catch the water when the hoomins are flashing their own watery litter tray as it is also more likely that you might end up in the toilet yourself (unless of course you are quite lucky and the hoomin catches you before you fall in....). 
No purrsonal space! Tolkien doesn’t seem to understand the concept of space it seems!
So yes I don’t think that Tolkien is very good at copying me (or that he understands that water makes you very wet at times) and even at times he even overdoes it as well especially when he becomes almost attached to you especially at times when you try to get some quality snoozing time....he doesn’t really have to sleep next to me or on top of me....I need some breathing space especially when sleeping...and there is plenty of room on the bed or the sofa for both of us!

The other bad thing with Tolkien at the moment is that he is not only forgetful but also that he gets easily distracted....you know, one minute he follows you around and plays with you and the next he forgets all about you and starts playing with one of those toys that hoomins have brought home sometime in the past for meowself and which toys I think at some point in time I got bored with...and now Tolkien finds them interesting to play with....even more interesting than he finds me it seems....if that is possible of course!

But out of all these bad so far learned habits and behaviours there is one good thing about Tolkien especially when he is being so forgetful and so easily distracted.....as at times he even forgets to eat and then he’ll abandon his food rather quickly for something that he might have just seen or heard moving which of course means that then I can help him to finish that abandoned food before it gets wasted!

But I guess I should stop now, after all I have a kitten to look after and as it is his dinner time as well I need to go and keep an eye on him....just in case he forgets again and abandons his food…we don’t want to waste all that food, do we now?

Purrs and meows till next time!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that my hoomins are trying to raise money to help older cats such like Choo Choo was with vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover senior cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment)...so if you feel generous and you want to help cats like Choo Choo to have a good old age you can donate by clicking here:

Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:





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