Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien

Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien
The misadventures of Ozzy and Tolkien at home

Monday, 24 June 2019

I’m not dr. Ozzy and Mr Pain In the hoomins are saying...and accidents do happen!

I was just investigating the incident and I wasn’t caught red pawed by hoomins!
You know sometimes things do happen and not always because somebody is responsible for these unfortunate things to happen....I mean and occasionally you might find yourself in an unfortunate situation but that doesn’t mean that you are responsible for that unfortunate situation..So let’s take the recent incident in the bathroom as a good example...It wasn’t me that caused the basket to fall in the bathtub, it just fell, on its own...I’ve just happened to be close by and so I went to check the damage...this is why I was inside the basket...I was investigating the cause of that fall so I don’t take any responsibility for its original precarious position...I was only investigating the reason for the hoomins came and blamed me for no reason for the whole ‘accident”. I mean why on earth I would knocked over the laundry basket…what was for me to gain? Although I’ve always wanted to know what was inside…but this is besides the point here…

Another example is the recent accident with the flower simply tipped over, I think hoomins put too many flowers and water and the vase just tipped over...again because I was close by at the moment that the accident happened it does not mean that I was responsible....I didn’t touch it I tail might have touched it a little but again it’s not my was too heavy and full! Hoomins should learned their lessons here, don’t put too many flowers and water! By the way may I ask why hoomins are obsessed with water and flowers? You can’t eat them…they just look at them and they do nothing….what is the purpose of flowers in a small container with water again? Pfft hoomins!

As for the little blinds accident the other day,  again not my fault...entirely! By the way I don’t have a girlfriend...I don’t like that cat she is kinda ugly actually in my opinion) or I’ve spend time watching her when she is outside or I get too excited when I see her...utterly nonsenses! So I wasn’t trying to get her attention when the blinds...well came out of place somehow,  when I got sort of caught up! That would have been silly...making too much fuss over a girly cat...I don’t like girl cats they are too much Faith, they are over reacting to everything and get you in into trouble for no reason...So no she is not my girlfriend and I don’t get excited when I see her or knock over flower pots and plants on the window sill and make a mess with the blinds...these are all wrong accusations, it’s not me. I didn’t get myself caught up in the blinds...they were already like that because Faith was there before me, looking at birdies and squirrels....Nope it wasn’t me!

She is not my girlfriend, right? I’m just being polite and saying hi...
As for the after 10 o’clock at night little exercise regime which I do is simply my daily night exercise. I do a little bit of running to keep my self fit(because hoomins accuse me of being fat) and also for the sake of hoomins, because they are around at that time so I make sure that I keep them entertained...I do not accept the silly accusation again that I behave like a kitty that has been possessed and that I even grow little horns that time of night...these are nonsenses that my hoomins say because they think they are funny, ha ha, I think not  hoomins I am not being too playful and mischievous at times...I’m simply my cheerful, happy self that tries to keep his hoomins entertained...simple as that! By the way I do not sulk or go into hiding under the sofa cover when hoomins are mean too me (for no reason most of the times anyway, I’m just entertaining myself). 

Any meow better go now...I need to check on those pesky hoomins to see what they are up to...don’t want them to accuse me again for something that I’m not responsible for....besides they might feel kind enough or guilty for being sooo mean to me and feel up my bowl again or take out the treats. Who knows with hoomins!

Purrs and. meows till next time!       

But before I go I would like to mention here again that my hoomins trying to raise money to help with our older cats vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover older cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment) if you feel generous and you want to help you can donate here

Monday, 17 June 2019

I’m not a moaning cat....despite what hoomins think!

See how cute I am? How a cute cat like me snore? Not possible of course!
Last week if you remember fellow kitties I was telling you about how hoomins are a lot like us, especially at weekends when they stay at home and basically they are just being lazy for two whole days...pathetic really!
Of course and on the other hand and because us kitties, we also spend a lot of our time with hoomins we also tend to pick up some of their good behaviours and even parts of their purrsonalities and as result to often behave like hoomins in some occasions....which of course I’m not say that is all bad, as hoomins, well at least my hoomins have some good qualities at times...I think!

But what I don’t like though is when hoomins start accusing us of showing some of those bad behaviours that hoomins are notorious for and then hoomins either making fun of us or they just being really mean....

For example I have been accused many times now that I snore at night when I’m letting the hoomins to use my bed to sleep! You see, I try to be nice and what do I get in return? ...Abuse! How is it possible a cute kitty like me to snore....when this is a very hoomin behaviour which I have not most definitely no picked up from them....Hoomins snore when they sleep really loud at times and they even keep me awake (and I don’t even complain or make a fuss about it). I’m a cat and therefore I do not snore, I just purr very quietly and gently, which is very soothing and relaxing and hoomins should be very grateful that I help them to fall asleep instead of accusing me of snoring like a baby rhino! I mean that is a really serious insult, not only they accuse me of snoring quite loudly but also of doing so because I’m apparently quite fat and almost the size of a baby rhino....seriously now!  Hoomins I do not snore or I am fat, i”m just fluffy, soft and very cuddly! I just look big and round!

I mean this fat business is getting really out of hand as hoomins have now decided that they would start hiding food from me...I really do not eat that much. I am a nibbler as I’m only testing the food for the other two to make sure that is safe and good enough for them to eat so there is no reason for hoomins to hide it away. It’s not like I’m going to eat it all or something....And of course I do not get stroppy when there is no food around, and then I go on some kind of rampage either and start opening opening drawers in the middle of the night so hoomins can trip over because I’m not annoyed. Why on earth would I do that for? I’m not that mean....I’m a very considerate and kind kitty even when hoomins are being unfair and unreasonable...

See? Not fat...looking quite small actually!
Also I do not take kindly the accusation of me being a scaredy cat either, I’m the one in charge here you know and because I don’t like certain noises like that of the doorbell or the vacuum cleaner it doesn’t mean that by any means I’m scared of these noises and that monster that moves around the house and makes such a loud noise...I’m just being cautious you know, after all you do not know who is at the door and as I’ve said that monstrosity that hoomins use to clean the carpets it looks and sounds very dangerous...I don’t care if Faith is not afraid of the vacuum cleaner and follows hoomins around when they are vacuuming the house and points to dirty spots ( I don’t really believe that she does anyway…hoomins are exaggerating again!)....that’s silly to say at least and she is just doing it because she wants some attention from the hoomins,,,,besides I don’t think that she can hear properly anyway or knows how dangerous that vacuum monster is...silly cat!

Anymeows enough for today time for food bowl checking I thinkz!

 Purrs and meows till next time

But before I go I would like to mention here again that my hoomins trying to raise money to help with our older cats vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don't cover older cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live now a lot longer and some of us need medical attention and treatment at times) so if you feel generous and want to help you can donate here


Monday, 10 June 2019

Hoomins are so alike us.....and they don’t even know!

Relaxing on my favourite hoomin around!
I must admit that living with hoomins has many advantages as they can be really good servants and at times especially when you play games with them (not their silly games which they think they actually amuse us, seriously now….how stupid do they think we are….no no I mean games like the one I’ve mentioned last know when hoomins try to find my poolette if they are lucky type of game....when they do not really know that they are actually playing and get annoyed and frustrated... hoomins lose their cool so easy so unlike us of course! Watch and learn hoomins how to be cool and look indifferent at all times!).

But as I’ve said it before hoomins are a lot like us and this is perhaps the main reason that we are getting along so well with each other...both species have many similarities. Good examples of those similarities can be seen between hoomins and cats during the weekend time of course, when hoomins spend a lot of their time at home doing really nothing and like us they spend a lot of their time snoozing and sleeping with their eyes open while keep staring at what they call the TV!
Yes, the weekend it a good time to see hoomins being themselves when they don’t have to go out for most of the day and do what they do in that place they call work (probably they spent a lot of time snoozing there as well…we know hoomins too well after all!).
 So often hoomins accuse us for being lazy and not doing much all day...well guess what, this is what hoomins are doing usually during the weekends as well, copying the cats...they are just being lazy....They would usually get up ridiculously late and they would of course and as a result mess up our routine and breakfast we’d then have to have breakfast really late and despite the fact that we are starving. And when they do get up sometimes very very late in the morning or at almost noon what do they do? Nothing again...they just sit in front
 of the TV and watch other people chasing tiny balls for hours...till it is lunch time (at least at weekends we do have lunch, that’s some small something I guess to compensate for hoomins being so lazy at home) And what do they do after lunch? Nothing again as they carry on with their previous routine of sitting in front of the TV or if they feel a bit energetic they might read some book or do some work or their gadgets...sitting down of course....till dinner and bed time…They simply waste their day by doing nothing other than sleeping and eating…(sometimes they won’t even cook as somebody from outside will deliver their food for them so they don’t have to prepare it….so lazy, unbelievable!).

So both their weekend days usually pass without them doing much, other than sleeping, eating and some more snoozing in front of the telly....they are recharging their batteries my hoomins call it....So now you tell me how this routine is any different to that of any known cat that shares his/her home with hoomins? Why we are then called lazy and hoomins are allowed to get away with it?
 When hoomins are at home all day they do act like us and the annoying thing is that they still accuse us of being lazy and not doing much all day (although I did spend quite a lot of my time yesterday watching the squirrels outside trying to steal food from the bird feeders again…at least I did something hoomins!)...dah hoomins do exactly the same, they copy us and they don’t even realise it that they are behaving like us....copy hoomins!

Watching baby squirrel outside...

I guess though that we much have some good influence on them after all this time we’ve spent sharing our home with them and which influence  they have not come to have realised yet has some positive effects on them.... it is a good thing though that they don’t know as there are still a lot of things that we can teach them and hoomins have proved to be very good students....

Better go now, time to remind my students about the benefits of filling up my food bowl!

But before I go to remind them about  my dinner again I would like to mention here that my hoomins trying to raise money to help with our older cats vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover older cats treatment for life (not fair really as we cat live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment) if you feel generous and you want to help you can donate here


Purrs and meows till next time!

Monday, 3 June 2019

The strange things sometimes we cats do....just for fun!

You know, in generally I consider myself to be a rather well behaved, caring and considerate cat....I think that actually I tick all the right boxes and I’m almost in every way purrfect...Of course and after all I’m a cat and not a stupid dog who would do anything to please his hoomins or even a hoomin who thinks that he/she knows everything about not true as hoomins haven’t go the slightest clue of what is going on and especially when it comes to cats and their behaviour...

I mean there are some things that us cats like doing and which hoomins despite all our efforts they don’t seem to understand why we are doing them and they even think that we are strange, rather peculiar....The truth is that there is always a good reason for doing something.
Let’s take for example the art of starring at the walls...something which I have already mentioned it before...there are many reasons why we might sometimes spend considerate time looking at walls, one of which might simply be that they are nice to look at (not very likely of course that we might really like a wall, what is there to like...). The most likely scenario though might be that there is something on that wall that we see with our excellent eyesight and which you hoomins can’t see of course...small insects is a good example or even specs of dust and reflective light. It might even be something behind that wall that we again can hear and you hoomins can’t...again our hearing is a lot lot better than yours  hoomins if you remember....mice, rats and other creatures often live behind these walls that you are not always aware of hoomins (which sometimes it is a good thing as sometimes you tend to make fuss about nothing...). Even house noises that you again can not hear might sound interesting to us....and of course we might be doing it just to have some fun with hoomins, so they think that we are attuned with the supernatural and we can see and hear spirits and ghosts....whoa hoomins can be so gullible sometimes, it’s unbelievable...

As I’ve said there are many things that we cats like doing and that they don’t seem to make a lot of sense to hoomins like why for example we like sitting or laying on everything that is not meant for us or anybody else to be using for resting...well the answer is because we can can and we like doing it...besides we like being close to our hoomins and sitting in small enclosed and warm places and leave some of our lovely scent there to cover any other smells that we might nor really like...

Me and Choo Choo having some quality nap time on the the way the red mark is hoomin being again very affectionate and silly..she doesn’t learn!
But of course there are things that not all cats like doing and which they are unique to each of us cats...that’s what make us special of course...I purrsonally I like playing a great version of spot the poolette know after I have been to the litter tray and not left everything there but kept a small ‘treasure’ so to drop it somewhere in the carpet, small enough of course to confuse the hoomins so they think that it is a piece of cat food or biscuit and then being the silly ones they are to attempt to pick it up with their bare hands and to suddenly realise of course that it wasn’t some piece of leftover food after all...soft and very smelly...hee hee! Priceless the expression on their faces when they realise that they were playing my guess where my poolette is game all along!!! Of course in such occasions there are some bad words being spoken by the hoomins which they don’t use very often as they appear to be rather upset but the whole thing is so funny that you have to forgive the hoomins for being loud and rather angry...Hoomins can be so funny at times.....It’s good to have them around...

Anymeow better go, time for dinner!

Purrs and meows till next time!

The wars of the blanket and the mystery of the underwear draw….

MY BLANKET…Tolkien cannot have it! Hallo hoomins and cats out there in the wide world outside. Another week has just passed and a few things...