Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien

Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien
The misadventures of Ozzy and Tolkien at home

Monday, 24 February 2020

Living in a hoomin home sometimes can be a bit too much!

Not sure what Tolkien is doing at the moment so I’m taking a meowself moment!

You know and without wanting to sound rather arrogant as I’m a cat that always tells the truth and of course I am also very honest and therefore I can’t be really accused of being arrogant, selfish or even dishonest for that matter in anyway. But of course here I’m talking about cats honesty and not hoomins of course (as you all know too well that hoomins tell a lot of lies all the time and they are not to be trusted) I am a very kind and intelligent cat, a lot more than my hoomins of course and this has been established a long time ago....from the very beginning with our relationship with hoomins. 
But of course because I’m very intelligent this doesn’t also mean that all cats and kittens of this world are as clever or close to be clever as me....especially Tolkien. This is of course something that we had established at the very beginning when we found out about Tolkien’s peculiar ways. Well at first and since I’m very understanding cat I thought that all his peculiarities were because of his young age, you know being a kitten and not having much experience or even knowledge of basic things....but and as of course you already know things got worse as he got older....he developed a lot more of peculiar habits and behaviours that they are well very very strange and in someways someone might even say stupid....as they seem to get him in a lot of trouble most of times without me doing anything that could make things worse of course!
I mean some of his playing habits...it is of course normal for a cat to chase a ball or even a feather, string and even my favourite one, peas on the floor but Tolkien has taken the playing thing too far these days...I mean the things that he finds interesting at times and wants to play with....well I simply can’t understand him! 

That strange still kitten is just legs...maybe he is an octopus of something....
So and for the past few days he has found a new game…he seems to like playing in the shower room rolling around and playing with something that doesn't seem to have a name and which he took out from the plughole and he would not let go despite all hoomins efforts....he spends a lot of time inside the shower trying to clean it by rolling around and playing with that things (which I sincerely hope it’s not a new form of life that came out from the sewers or something…) or leave the shower for the hoomins to use it.....Then his weirdness would get worse as he would also follow the robot cleaner around and then he would pretend that he is one as well and he would start rolling on the kitchen floor copying the robot cleaner and trying to clean the floor as well!
You know sometimes I wonder why the hoomins are using that small robot cleaner (which in my opinion is a lot better that the other bigger and noisier thing that hoomins often use to clean the whole house) instead of using Tolkien in its place....well there are a lot of similarities between them after all as he is the same colour of course, black and he is very soft so he would most definitely pick up a lot of dirt especially the way he likes rolling over on the floors....you know it’s an idea that the hoomins might want to take on....and it is a cheaper solution and Tolkien then serves at least some purpose after all!

Now and since we are talking about hoomins and their gadgets I have but to mention this peculiar obsession they have with gadgets especially those ones that tend to turn on and off automatically....I mean it is so confusing! One minute it’s dark in the house and then all the sudden and out of nowhere lights are being turned on, heaters are coming to life, music plays from the hoomin’s special room (which she doesn’t let us get in there anymore because apparently we are very destructive....pfft nonsense I say!) and the house feels like it is been haunted....Can then anybody tell me what is this hoomin obsession with all these gadgets which apparently listen to another hoomin’s voice called Alexa or Siri or something similar....so peculiar I can tell you....It is a bit strange when things come on alive when hoomins are not around which at times I must also admit that they are quite useful especially when it is dark at home but at least they should come with some kind of warning and not all of the sudden....it can be unnerving at times you know!

Any meows better go now and check if that strange hoomin’s voice has somehow managed to fill up my bowl again....of course that would be an excellent trick if Alexa can do that....then who needs the hoomins, ha!

Purrs and meows till next time then!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that if you feel generous and you want to help some of our senior cats with their vet bills so they can have a good old age you can do so by donating: So please click here:

!!!NEW!!! If you want to have a portrait made of your furry companion check this site for more details at: Dog Art:

 Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:


 Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins!



Monday, 17 February 2020

Life with Ozzy and Tolkien...don’t think so hoomin!


I think there is a Tolkien under this cover you know...can you spot him?
Well and if you remember from last week when I was telling you how much caring, considerate and helpful around the house I’ve always been and therefore I thought that it was only fair for my poor meowself to win, you know, one of these awards that hoomins so easily give to each other and sometimes they even feel generous to give one to their animal pals as well....you know intelligent cats like meowself (I’m referring here to dogs of course as they are not that clever to deserve any award of course...I mean you only have to tell them to fetch and they get so excited and then they’d go after anything...especially sticks...what is it with those sticks, any way….so yes not very intelligent behaviour at all, in meow opinion of course). 
But of course and as you can tell from my general and as always very calm attitude I didn’t win anything because of course I was not even nominated for anything....all the awards were won...surprise surprise here, by hoomins of course and I didn’t even win the award for best cat of the year....pfft, not fair!
But naturally it wasn’t really my fault that no award arrived at my home (even not one little one for being so considerate for living with them hoomins and Tolkien...) but who else’s of course other than my hoomins who once again couldn’t be asked to at least nominate meowself for something....it’s like they believe that I’m not even worthy of an itchy tiny award, you know just to say thank you for all my efforts all these years, looking after them every single day of the year...along with looking after Tolkien of course...who is, you can say, at least a bit difficult to handle....most of the times!
But and as you well know I’m not a cat that likes to blame others for their obvious mistakes which mistakes they make all the time…I’m very forgiving (not forgetful of course) and I would not keep mentioning things that they had now passed and happened such a while ago....there is no need of course to dwell in the past..
So once again I have forgiven my hoomins for their mistakes and besides sometimes there is nothing else that you can do after all...hoomins are hoomins and they do make a lot of mistakes after all!

Yeap, Tolkien has taken all my good spots in the house and he gets away with it!

But and while I’m willing to forget the past and carry on with normal everyday life hoomins on the other hand tend to have other plans which plans I don’t really like at all. You know of course that they have become this year obsessed with healthy living and doing things that they are good for the environment and all these crazy things that hoomins often do but now this bizarre behaviour has got worse as they are keep talking non stop about downsizing and living a simple life needing not many things and also even they are now considering moving to another country where the weather is better apparently....I’m not sure what that really means but it can’t be that good if they want to move...and besides I don’t want to move or to downsize anything....I have all the things I need no less is needed....I could always do with a bit more of course since Tolkien takes all my toys and best sleeping areas so and most definitely I’m not willing to downsize on anything...us cats don’t do simple life hoomins do and that’s is that and I’m not going to change my mind on the matter…

But this downsizing business is not really the worst as hoomins as everybody knows they tend to say that they’d do things and very soon after they’d change their mind….so all this talking about simple life I’m pretty sure that sooner than later will pass….So yes this is most definitely not the worst idea the hoomins so far they had as the worst to come is this new crazy idea hoomin is now having about writing a book about meowself and Tolkien...and believe me when I say that I wouldn’t mind so much if she was just writing a book about meowself of course as I could well do with a nice biography for the world to read about my life with hoomins and Tolkien so more people then they can read and appreciate  all the sacrifices a cat like meowself and hard work of course has to put on a daily basis....No, no apparently it’s not going to be a normal book but instead she is creating a comic book where not only Tolkien and meowself look ridiculous like cartoons (we are not Tom and Jerry you know) but also and as she is making it to be a funny comic (nothing like those ones with superheroes it seems) we’d appear to be some silly rather funny characters.....How insulting! I would not tolerate been turned to a comic character and have people reading about and as she calls it my...misadventures when we are apparently rather bad and treat hoomins like they are all our slaves….such a ridiculous idea….really!
I do refuse to get blamed  for things that I have not done and which are clearly Tolkien’s work....or accused of being a spoiled fat cat….nope not meowself! I must work my hardest to change hoomin’s mind on this I think….I have a reputation which I need to keep untarnished you know!

Anymeows better go now, it’s getting really late and I feel a bit weak after all this writing business....time to visit some food bowls.

Purrs and meows till next time!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that if you feel generous and you want to help some of our senior cats with their vet bills so they can have a good old age you can do so by donating: So please click here:

!!!NEW!!! If you want to have a portrait made of your furry companion check this site for more details at: Dog Art:

 Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:


 Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins!






Monday, 10 February 2020

The best cat of the year award goes to meowself....naturally

You see? Very handsome! I deserve an award for best cat which they should call the Ozzy award I think!

You know I’m a little peeved at the moment with my hoomins, they can be really really annoying sometimes with all their false accusations....I’m blamed for everything around here and it’s not fair....especially when Tolkien is around too....they should blame him instead as he is the kitten after all!
You see a little while ago I was accused of being a destructive force which is destroying furniture and carpets on his path....of course this is just a big misunderstanding as I was only trying to keep Tolkien entertained....you know being still a kitten and getting easily bored so he needs a bit of stimulation...and exercise. So now and then we do a bit of running around the house (and we most definitely do not sound like galloping horses....when playing around a bit). So definitely it wasn’t me who moved the carpets in the hallway and corridor (it was probably Tolkien of course no doubt) and I wasn’t on the coffee table and messed up that cover too or the covers from the living room sofas....how could it be meowself, I’m a wise and intelligent (and let’s not forget handsome) cat and not an excitable kitten like Tolkien (well, that’s what hoomins keep saying about him, anymeows!). 

So instead of being accused for things I’ve never did I should be getting instead awards like those hoomins get for best cat of the year or something very similar (not that fussy on these details really)....I mean after all I do deserve it....Not only I’m very cute (some of my fans think that I’m a rather handsome fellow unlike Tolkien who is just OK for a kitten) I’m also very considerate and very very caring (I do look after as you already know both my hoomins and of course Tolkien....that pesky kitten, it’s all his fault), as well as helpful (I help hoomins with all their chores, especially cooking and baking when I’m always there, in the kitchen, giving my hoomins a helping paw....again Tolkien is the one who causes all the mess and does not really help). What else...let me think now....oh yes I also help the hoomins with other things like you know help them with doing the bed, moving around the carpets (even if they think that the carpets do not need moving so I help them to change their mind by doing their work for them...you know move them around a bit). I’m also helping them to get up in the morning so they don’t oversleep (I do get a little help from Tolkien of courser because after all they are two of them and one poor little me and I can’t be meowself in two places at the same time naturally). There are of course also a lot of other things that I do to help my hoomins and I’m always showing my appreciation by sitting on them so to let them give me the attention they feel the need to give to me and even allow them to touch my belly as well (which again it’s not big or fat to be clear on that).

So you see I’m not just a pretty face I’m very hard working and caring cat and I do a lot to help my hoomins and that pesky Tolkien of course while and at the same time I’m also helping my hoomins with their career you know I do the hard work like the blogging for them, I pose for them to take photos or draw nice pictures of me and also advise my hoomin so she can in return give some good advise to other hoomins about their cats as well. Yeap I work very hard and I think that I most definitely deserve some kind of award....and the best cat of the year award would do me just fine, don’t you think? You can always email my hoomin for the details...you know where to send my award of course!

Working hard with Tolkien here....investigating what’s going on outside...

Anymeows and as I’ve just proved to you that I’m a very busy cat I can’t always keep up with all these public responsibilities, you know the social media, magazines, newspapers....it’s all getting a bit too much for me so I need to cut down a bit....so no more Instagram posting for me and Tolkien anymore I’m afraid....I’ve told my hoomin that we could at least stop posting there....well my poor hoomin also needs a bit of resting and time of.....she does quite a lot work for me you see.

Anymeows better go now that everything seems to be very quiet and Tolkien is chasing a stupid pink ball around the house....time to go and check on my hoomins they have been quiet for a while now and it is almost dinner time as well!

Purrs and meows till next time....hopefully I’d have my award by then!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that if you feel generous and you want to help some of our senior cats with their vet bills so they can have a good old age you can do so by donating: So please click here:

!!!NEW!!! If you want to have a portrait made of your furry companion check this site for more details at: Dog Art

 Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:


 Don't forget to check my hoomin's Cat Behaviour site if you want some advice about your cat’s behaviour...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins!




Tuesday, 4 February 2020

Hoomins sometimes can be rather frustrating to have around...

What that pesky Tolkien is up to this time? I’m keeping an eye on him and the hoomins!
You know that I like my hoomins, they are good hoomins as hoomins go and they do try to meet my needs (not discussing here Tolkien’s needs as he has far too many who no hoomins can ever satisfy no matter how hard they might try....strange kitten indeed!). You’ve noticed here of course that I’ve said that they try because sometimes I’m not totally convinced that they really want to and that they do try....yes, sneaky hoomins!

You also know of course that hoomins are not very good at keeping their promises, they often  say that they would do one thing and then they’d do something different or they’d change their mind. You know for example, when they are saying that they’d fill up your biscuit bowls when they are empty and then they don’t do it for hours and they don’t even seem to care that you have become weak and feeble and that you are at the point of starvation. Sometimes of course they even come up with the most ridiculous excuses! I mean why I should care that there are no biscuits in the cupboard. Not my problem you know, if they’ve have run out and there are no more biscuits then they should go out and buy some more....it’s their job of course, not mine!
Oh those hoomins they can be so cruel and insensitive at times! And of course I’m expecting them to get me the biscuits that I do like and not the ones that they are available or the ones that they are currently on sale!
So and for pity’s sake, who do they think I am, Tolkien? I mean that kitten these days can eat anything and he doesn’t mind or seems to care what hoomins put on his bowl or leave on their plates!

You know and as I was telling you last week Tolkien seems to be going through a strange phase in his life as he likes eating all sort of things, like chewing paper and cardboard boxes among other things....and oh boy did he eat a lot of boxes last week or what!  And the mess he made....I’ve started even feeling sorry for those hoomins having to constantly clear after his mess...everywhere....we are still finding tiny pieces of cardboard and paper these days around the house, even in hoomins’ pockets!
But it’s not that he likes paper, cardboard boxes and even plastic bags which hoomins had to keep away from him and even bought him a couple of new toys to keep him busy and distracted (it kinda work as he can easily get distracted....I’ve told you he has no brain really), oh no he now likes other stuff too! He still likes eating some of the hoomins’ funny tasting food such as that horrible black stuff that they call marmite and which smells and tastes horrible as well as hoomin’s breakfast something called oats so simple apparently and which again tastes absolutely disgusting....This week though he has developed a new obsession as he seems to have discovered crisps and he now bothers hoomins to give him some of these crisps to eat which he simply seems to  love even if he finds them a bit hard to eat... but he would lick and lick them till they are soft to eat....Hoomins of course who they don’t really like sharing their food with him try to keep him away but Tolkien can be quite stubborn of course at times and he would then try to steal hoomins’ crisps by putting his paw inside the bag when he gets the chance....yeap, hoomin not pleased at all! Tolkien likes stealing food from hoomins in general though and he would try everything that hoomins eat if they let him....
Tolkien is having a little rest after his latest massacre of boxes....that kitten!
Oh well I do blame of course hoomins for Tolkien’s bad developed habits as they let him get away with everything....he is a far too spoiled kitten....unlike meowself of course who I only get what I want and need from the hoomins without much fuss!

Anymeows and back to these pesky hoomins again who’ve deliberately forgotten to get me my biscuits...well they’ve learned their lesson this morning
while meowself and Tolkien had an early morning play session which included a bit of running and a lot of jumping on the bed while the hoomins were trying to sleep....well they had an earlier start of the day that they were planning to…
I hope though that they’ve learned their lesson now and they finally got me my favourite biscuits, Better go and check now!

Purrs and meows till next time!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that if you feel generous and you want to help some of our senior cats with their vet bills so they can have a good old age you can do so by donating: So please click here:

!!!NEW!!! If you want to have a portrait made of your furry companion check this site for more details at: Dog Art

 Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:


 Don't forget to check my hoomin's site if you want some advice about Cat Behaviour...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins!


The guide of how to be a helpful cat....to hoomins!

Tolkien sometimes can be a bit of a headache with his silly hiding habits.... Well here we are again another week has just passed, the ...