Monday, 25 November 2019

Weekends can be really boring with two hoomins and a very long and strange kitten…

Here we are during our morning meeting....Tolkien I’d repeat again, you are not a SQUIRREL, now pay attention!
So another week has just passed and things didn’t improve a bit....Life with Tolkien is not getting any better of course as he is still very annoying and I am now totally convinced that he is not from around here...you know he is from another world as we discussed it last week...well, it is the only logic explanation I have for his peculiar behaviour...I mean sometimes he does try to be a normal kitten and behave like a cat but in most cases he is just failing badly, he doesn’t simply have it in him...he is not a cat that’s why of course.
But I do not just blame Tolkien for everything (even if he is not from around here)…as my hoomins are not any better really....not that they are from another planet or anything drastic like that...oh no, they are simply rather lazy and they don’t do much, especially at the weekends...I wonder though, are all hoomins the same? I hope not...not that I really mind when my hoomins are not doing much for the two days when they are at home all the time as I like it when they are around all day, as meowself and Tolkien we get a lot of attention and our food bowl is never empty as they are two of them and they are so easy to trick them to get extra food when your bowl is empty and you pretend that you haven’t eaten for hours and that you are at the brink of starvation...you only have to look at them with a very useful sad look and they would quickly feel sorry for you and fill up your bowl...well in most cases anyway and most definitely it doesn’t work when Tolkien try to convince them by meowing his head off...that’s annoying, seriously and it doesn’t work...my fellow cats out there know really well how to meow to hoomins if your want them to do your biding. You do no not meow as loud as you can to annoy them, you meow quietly, rather pathetically so they feel sorry for you...and not getting annoyed with you as I keep telling Tolkien but of course that kitten never listens to anything I try to teach him....

Anymeows where was I? Oh yes, how boring and lazy hoomins can be at the weekend and that laziness starts rubbing on meowself and Tolkien too...I mean I know that hoomins getting tired during the week when they go out (but then again, why do they go out after all, they should stay at home with us so they don’t get that tired) and therefore they want to rest over the two days they are at home...but not to that extend! And then they have to nerve to say that us cats are lazy...ha ha, look who is talking...hoomins are the worst.
They hardly do anything all weekend (well some weekends anyways), they don’t even try to keep Tolkien under some control...

Oh yes, back to Tolkien again...that little pest from another world, which world I don’t know yet but he is definitely not from around here...
You see, I was observing him all week and the weekend of course and his behaviour is definitely not one that it can be seen among kittens or cats in general of course.
I mean he has all these weird behaviours I was mentioning last week 
as well as new and recently developed ones such as a very peculiar taste in food...I mean what kind of kitten likes eating marmite for pity sake....marmite, that vile and horrible stuff that hoomins are spreading on their toasted bread? It smells and tastes horribly but Tolkien has become obsessed with it...he licks everything that has touched that horrible stuff and he even tries to eat the hoomins toast with that marmite stuff...I mean I thought that hoomins were weird when it came down to some of their eating habits but to see Tolkien sharing those bad habits...well, yeap it definitely confirms my previous assumptions that he is not really a kitten....he is a strange creature from out of space....plus the fact that he doesn’t like the taste of milk or cream or even ice cream....I mean you should have seen his face when he tasted milk....good grief, I’ve never believed that I would see a cat that dislikes milk so much until I met Tolkien....

He might be cute and cuddly and look like a kitten but trust me when I’m telling you that he is not!. Do not get fooled by that cute face, not a kitten!
Another bad habit that he has also developed is his new obsession of hiding things away…he has become a hoarder ....for which I blamed that silly squirrel outside which keeps coming on the bird feeder at the window and which Tolkien likes watching....and obviously now he thinks that he is also one as he is trying to hide things like his toys in his secret tunnel and he even tries to hide his food from me by attempting to cover it....not Tolkien you are not a squirrel...I don’t know what you are but I will figure it out in the end...

Anymeows better go now....before that strange creature named Tolkien attempts to hide my food again.

Purrs and meows till next time and be careful now with all these out of space very long and with many nipples creatures that pretend to be kittens!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that my hoomins are trying to raise money to help older cats such like Choo Choo and Faith were with vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover senior cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment)...so if you feel generous and you want to help cats like Choo Choo to have a good old age you can donate by clicking here:

Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:





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