Monday, 18 November 2019

Why a kitten might not be a kitten after all!

He is behind me, watching me...isn’t he?
It’s being quite a while now since Tolkien became a member of the family and during that time we had a lot of unfortunate situations and unruly behaviour to cope with as Tolkien has proved to be impossible to teach and for him to learn anything useful that is!

I don’t know if your remember way back at times when I was the only one in charge in our home of 3 other cats and 2 hoomins....when things were good and there was order and routine in our lives. Everybody knew their place and was behaving according to the rules. Then chaos came...yeap actual chaos…hmm good name for a certain kitten, I think, and everything got disorganised and has changed. 
Of course and unfortunately we’ve lost our oldest family members rather suddenly (not the hoomins of course...hoomins are not just old they are ancient really....but I guess it’s hoomins nature to be sooo much older than us....and by no means any wiser of course!) and hoomins felt the need to get me a companion so I wasn’t feeling lonely and got too spoiled (they’ve said) but boy did they choose the wrong one....Of course their argument has always been that it is a kitten after all and he is behaving like one...well, hoomins got it once again wrong....yes, Tolkien might have been and he still is a kitten and looks (loosely) like one but most definitely he doesn’t behave like one or has ever behaved like one? Well, of course I can’t say for certain how kittens are behaving when they are kittens as it has been a while, when meowself was a kitten (hey, not that long, I’m still quite young and there are a lot of similarities between meowself and a kitten but of course there aren’t any when it comes to Tolkien as he is not a kitten....as I’ve said it before). And this is the problem as I really don’t know what Tolkien is. I mean and since we have established that he is not a kitten I’m not sure what kind of creature he really is...he is not a hoomin of course even if at times he thinks he is....which is a good thing of course as hoomins can be sometimes so much worse than Tolkien to manage....he is not anything like those birdies outside either....well definitely he has no wings or feathers and beak and he doesn’t like eating seeds....yet as he has started developing some weird eating habits  as he seems to like some of that funny tasting hoomin food like marmite…yuk! He is not a fish...I don’t think that he can swim or he likes water and he is not whatever Grizzly is...nope too big to be a hamster, I think. So what is he? Well, if any of you know please let me know because all this time it really puzzles me and I can’t think of a creature category that I can place him...
You see he has developed these really strange habits and behaves in most peculiar ways…He likes high above the ground places and he is behaving like a bat (well still he is not hanging upside down from doors and cupboards, although parts of his body do seem to hang out a lot...especially his leg and tail) but hoomins say that he is definitely not a bat....no wings apparently....I’m not totally convinced though. Hey, hoomins maybe he is a monkey then....he has the long tail....no? Apparently he is not a monkey either...he doesn’t like bananas!
So if any of you out there have any ideas please tell me....He has become also very loud as well...did I mention this? I mean he does sound sometimes like he is meowing but he is so loud that this is not meowing is a loud deafening noise which works very well with hoomins who would do anything that he wants them to do so he can stop....Sometimes I wish I was that loud meowself you know, but I’m a considerate and modern cat who doesn’t use loud vocalisation to get the hoomins attention. I’ve just being meowself instead...cute and cuddly and hoomins can’t resist my charm and cuteness of course!
Tolkien is also very very long for a cat...too long some might say and when we are sitting by the window and looking outside and stretches at the window he really freaks the birdies outside with his long long body....he is unnaturally long for a cat...nothing like my small meowself of course (remember I’m cute and cuddly!).
Then there is his constant chasing and wanting to play or fight....non stop! He constantly harasses me to play with him and I don’t even get a moment’s peace....or I can find a place to hide...he would find me even when I’m under the bed or well hidden in the house and he would start bothering me so I can play with him...Sometimes I would pretend that I’m napping so he can leave me alone and that would work for a while as he would then bother the hoomins but they’d get bored or tired very quickly as well (remember they are ancient after all) and then he would come back to me again....as hoomins would then get away and escape by locking themselves in the office or leave home to go outside for sometime, which of course is not fair as I’d end up paying the price of trying to keep Tolkien entertained...no fair and no rest for me!

He might look cute and innocent...but don’t get fooled he is not what he seems to be!
I mean cats suppose to like snoozing and eating but not Tolkien of course because he is not a cat....he is a definitely some new species who looks like a kitten so hoomins got tricked and they thought that they were adopting a kitten when in fact they brought home an unidentified new which looks like a cat species....Hey do you think that Tolkien might be one of those aliens that hoomins are watching on that box or read about? 
Of course, now, everything seems to make sense....Tolkien is an alien after all, he is from out of space, naturally, that explains everything now!

Hmm better go now, I need to keep an eye on alien Tolkien, especially when he is eating so to find out whether he is an alien or not....the invasion it seems has started.

Purrs and meows till next time then!

Before I go though I would like to mention once again that my hoomins are trying to raise money to help older cats such like Choo Choo and Faith were with vet bills as their treatments can be very expensive since insurances don’t cover senior cats treatment for life (not fair really as we can live a lot longer now and some of us need medical treatment)...so if you feel generous and you want to help cats like Choo Choo to have a good old age you can donate by clicking here:

Also you can buy some of my own range of products, the Ozzy Superstar range here too:



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