The problem with Tolkien is...he is too stupid to be a cat!

Tolkien in one of his bad attempts to hide

So here we are again, another week has passed and Halloween is fast approaching although and given the current circumstances it doesn’t seem that it’s going to be such a big thing like another year that is...well according to my hoomins of course! Which I do think that it is rather unfortunate as I like the hoomins’ holidays and celebrations as there always seems to be a lot of food around which quite often hoomins tend to leave around....let’s say around without paying too much attention! 

Yeap holidays are always a good thing for meowself that as there are always things that need to be done and I don’t mind helping the hoomins with all their preparations....they always need a helping paw during those festive times! Now and as I was saying last week because I’ve spent a lot of time with the hoomins since there are permanently at home so and as a result I have also picked a lot of the hoomins’ habits and I consider meowself to be part hoomin too so I’m always trying my hardest to assist the hoomins wherever I can. You know always giving a helping paw to make the hoomins life a bit easier…wherever I can that is of course like work, exercising, housework, etc, etc. 

 But unfortunately and as you already know it’s not just meowself at home with the hoomins....there is also Tolkien who is now a full grown cat and who can’t seem to be stoping from growing and growing.... (by the way you can still read about our life at home and of course all about the good times we’ve used to have at home in the good old days before March when hoomins behaved like hoomins and they’ve used to go outside often...in the hoomins comic Life with Ozzy.. and Tolkien available on Amazon). 

 He has become so big that hoomins are finding it really hard to even picking him up. Which of course proves my point what I have been saying all this time...Tolkien is not a cat after all. I don’t know what he is but he is most definitely not a cat. 

An example of Tolkien being too big...he can’t fit in the hammock anymore!

You see not only he doesn’t look like a cat but he is not acting like one either! I have tried my hardest all this time to train him to act like a cat at least to some basic level but it has been all in vain. He has never shown any inclination to learn anything at all. Well OK and fair enough he does meow and eats cat food (although this is not always the case...well…OK and perhaps for both of us anymeows) and uses the litter tray but he still hasn’t learnt how to cover after he has been to the litter tray and I bet he’d probably given the chance use the hoomins toilet instead but other than those few things he doesn’t do anything else that can identify him as a cat. 

Yes I do know that he is not very clever and some might even say that he is rather stupid but even his stupidity shouldn’t stop him from acting in some ways like a cat. Well I knew from the very beginning when I first saw him that he wasn’t a normal kitten....not with those big ears and long tail! Not normal at all! Then it came his obsession with always being on high above ground surfaces especially the top of the doors and cupboards...no cat can spend so much time high above the ground....then there is his strange obsession with no cat food...he likes some of the most peculiar and not so nice tasting hoomin foods like marmite, crips and other salty type of snacks and food and he doesn’t like ice cream and cheese or spaghetti which as you know is my favourite....

Then there is his other obsession with strange objects like the hoomins’ phones which he likes sniffing or objects that they don’t make much sense in playing with such as cat litter...if he sees a piece of cat litter on the floor he gets really excited and spends a lot of time playing with it....why oh why? Where is the fun with playing with a piece of cat litter? Can anyone tell me? As for the way he likes sitting and sleeping....well again it’s so strange as he likes hanging from tops and surfaces...Well he is quite big I admit but this is not a good reason for always hanging...he is not on the top of a tree you know! Even when you try to play with him he doesn’t seem to be following any rules...he has no idea how to hide when we are playing hide or seek or how to find for that matter...he always makes squeaking noises when we having little wrestling games and then the hoomins always think that I’m bullying him or pulling his fur....which by the way because he has a lot it always comes loose on the carpet without any effort from my part whatsoever I’m telling you! 

He doesn’t know how to get attention from the hoomins instead he acts like a meerkat when the hoomins trying to give him attention or he would expose his many nipples to the hoomins for no apparent reason. He also doesn’t know how to get food from the hoomins either...he just sits there and the hoomins simply ignore him...if it wasn’t for meowself he would have starved! He is totally hopeless...I’m telling you, no way he is a cat...I don’t know what type of creature he is but definitely he is not 100% cat...some other type of inbreeding has taken place here which makes him a strange creature...part bat perhaps part alien! I guess it is a good thing that now that is Halloween he is staying indoors (as we are after all indoors only like the hoomins are now) so he won’t scare the few hoomins and other cats outside...I don’t think that any hoomins could cope with Tolkien outside even if it is Halloween...he would be too much for them! 

Anymeows better go now....things need to be done and hoomins need my assistance.

 Purrs and meows till next time! 

 Before you go and if you want to check that mentioned above comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available to download or buy on Amazon 

 Ozzy and Tolkien would like to ask you to donate if you could so to help us with the ever expensive vet bills of our senior cats so they can have a good old age. So please PayPal Ozzy and Tolkien’s hoomin. Thank you! 

 Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins! 

Are hoomins really such a bad influence to us, cats?

Here I’m looking for that pesky Tolkien again...he has no brains that cat!

Once upon a time, you know a long long time ago, well before I’ve adopted my current hoomins I was a totally different cat. I think that I was that is. I won’t say that my life was better then....it wasn’t! Well I don’t really remember much because it has been such a long time since those days but it seems to meowself that my life then couldn’t have been as good as it is now because my then hoomins didn’t really like me or wanted meowself to stay with them as they simply abandoned me with not much of a thought!

Anymeows I won’t go again back to these sad details of my previous life you know how it was and why I was abandoned and ended up in one of those shelters....It all belongs to the past now and it’s totally forgotten by meowself. Sad and bad memories…

What I want to mention here is that I believe that in those days I was a totally different cat....you see I think that I was more of a cat than I am today even if this sounds strange and even perhaps absurd!

I mean I believe that now I’m a totally different cat than in those older days....no, no I don’t mean physically, I haven’t changed that much....I’m a little older perhaps and a lot more wiser than I’ve used to be and most definitely not any bigger or fat....I do admit that I’m enjoying my food and biscuits quite a lot but and at the same time I also know how to keep my weight under control despite all these nasty rumours that they might be going around about meowself being fat....perhaps a little bit more bigger but in a good way…

No I don’t mean when I’m saying that I have changed that there have been any big physical changes as I’m still the cute and very handsome boy I’ve always been. What I mean is that there have been mentally and psychological changes that I have emotionally changed...I have become more evolved and mature intellectually....you know I feel more closer to my hoomins than perhaps other cats that they don’t spend so much time with their hoomins (Tolkien is not included because he is not or has ever been a cat... by the way you can still read about our life at home and of course all about the good times we’ve used to have at home in the good old days before March when hoomins behaved like hoomins and they’ve used to go outside often...in the hoomins comic Life with Ozzy.. and Tolkien available on Amazon). 

Not a minute peace with Tolkien checking everything I do!

You know there are times that I think that I’m more hoomin than those hoomins at home now...I have picked so many of their behaviours, in a good way of course that I have started feeling like a hoomin too. You know by exhibiting such behaviours like the hoomins do...for example I have started enjoying more and more some of their food. One of which is eating spaghetti especially from my hoomin’s plate....it’s so tasty I can’t seem to have enough of it…I also like crisps, marmite (yes I know I’m becoming like Tolkien it seems…unfortunately but there are some things that they are too good to ignore even if Tolkien is involved too), etc.

I also enjoy you know the comfort and warmth of some of their hoomins’ clothes like their jumpers which are so much comfy and cosy for sleeping and zooping these days. It’s so nice to sink your paws into such a soft material and then have a nice snooze!

Of course I also enjoy the company of hoomins and I love helping them with any task they do like doing like working (there is always so much paperwork to go through and sort out for them) as well as doing exercising with them and then helping them to do all these difficult poses and exercises correctly...(I do some exercising meowself too but it usually evolves chasing Tolkien around the house and try to help him keep fit like I do with the hoomins).

I also enjoy helping them with their house chores as meowself and Tolkien always make sure that there is enough mess on the floor for the them so to vacuum after.  It’s not just cleaning that I give a paw to the hoomins as there is also the cooking along with the cleaning of the plates and pots....I’m always willing to give a paw with cleaning those dirty pans ad pots when they are around without even waiting for the hoomins to start washing…I’d always make a start for them! 

I also tend to enjoy watching TV with my hoomins too...I always make sure that when they are watching I’m in front of the telly too so I can watch everything that is going on on the screen by being very close by....(you don’t want to miss those birdies that often appear on the screen of course).

Yeap there are more and more things that I like doing like my hoomins do....of course some might say that perhaps the hoomins are a bad influence on meowself and in general at cats everywhere...and that they are trying to change us into hoomins…

Well I’m not so sure really. Purrsonally I don’t think that is that bad to copy hoomins sometimes.....besides I see it as learning and becoming a better cat and of course hoomins are always going to be hoomins and they’d never going to turn to cats even if they really wanted to… But at least getting down to their level we can then try to understand them better as they are still very useful to have around....you still need them to keep your food and biscuit bowls full and to entertain you when you are bored and want some attention and pampering as there are things that a cat can’t really do or bothered to even try!

No I don’t think that they are a bad influence....it’s a good thing, it help us evolve and understand the world around us better. After all what cat really wants to be outside chasing mice and birdies in the rain and cold when she or he can be inside enjoying the good life with his hoomins....not meowself or even that stupid Tolkien for that matter.

Till next time

Purrs and meows

Before you go and if you want to check that mentioned above comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available to download or buy on Amazon

Ozzy and Tolkien would like to ask you to donate if you could so to help us with the ever expensive vet bills of our senior cats so they can have a good old age.  So please PayPal Ozzy and Tolkien’s hoomin. Thank you!

Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins! 

  

The disadvantages of having hoomins at home!

 

I’m just watching those silly hoomins and Tolkien being...well just silly with exercising and banana!

Here we are again another week has just passed and things are more less the same...as they have been for the past many weeks now with the hoomins at home...which I still maintain is not a bad thing after all although sometimes things can be a little boring but of course I’m not one of those cats that like to complain, you know meowself by now. But and the truth to be told there are also many disadvantages with having the hoomins constantly at home....even when you try to be optimistic and wanting to see only the good things that life with hoomins at home can bring which of course there are plenty (can’t think of all of them right now!).

But let’s be realistic as hoomins can be sometimes so difficult to live with and to tolerate especially when it comes to their many peculiarities...of course some might say that the same applies for Tolkien too who is after all a very peculiarly stupid cat!

For one though they do like to constantly criticise everything that we do even when we try to be rather helpful and considerate to the hoomins’ needs!

I have already mentioned before some of my efforts (OK and Tolkien’s too...and by the way you can still read about our life at home and of course all about the good times we’ve used to have at home in the good old days before March when hoomins behaved like hoomins and they’ve used to go outside often...in the hoomins comic Life with Ozzy.. and Tolkien available on Amazon) to keep the hoomins stimulated and entertained now that they spend a lot of time indoors....but I’m, always seem to be getting criticism for all my effort by the hoomins. When I’m trying to help them with their exercising efforts for example, you know, trying to make it a bit more interesting and fun for all of us then I’ve always get from the hoomins disapproval and constant nagging! They always seem to be shouting that ‘Ozzy is on the way again and I can’t do my stretching’ or that ‘Oh Ozzy! Get out of my way!’ or even ‘Ozzy tried to trip me over again’! 

Seriously now none of these accusations are true off course....As I’ve said I‘m only trying to make exercising a bit more fun!

Also and when it comes to housework which I know that hoomins really love doing, again I’m only trying to make it for them a bit more interesting and less boring. So I make sure that after they’ve have finished vacuuming meowself and Tolkien do our part in making the place messy again by shedding some of Tolkien’s fur (he has a lot more than I do of course) on the carpet so they have something to do after they’ve finished cleaning...next time! You see if we did not do our bit hoomins would have no mess to clean and no vacuuming would be needed so they’d be bored and miserable....they need things to do of course to keep themselves entertained. Meowself and Tolkien know of course too well so we are more than happy to help by creating all the mess they need....but do we get any appreciation? Of course not we are just being accused of always making a mess and for not being considerate....how ungrateful these hoomins can they be?

That pesky Tolkien with his precious banana...it’s not even in ring size!

And of course it’s not just the hoomins that they are strange and act in peculiar ways....there is always Tolkien too who each day he seems to be getting worse and to start developing strange habits....today for example both meowself and the hoomins caught him  sniffing and getting obsessed with the hoomin’s phone....he wouldn’t leave it alone! If he had friends I would have said that he wanted to call or meowtext his cat mates....who of course he doesn’t have. And to top it all today I’ve also caught him (and the hoomins too and I don’t think that they were very pleased) snoring rather loudly! At least now the hoomins would have somebody else to complain about the loud noises at night....maybe!

Yes I have become a very stressed cat with the hoomins and Tolkien at home and I think I could do with a bit of rest and relaxation....where is that hoomin now for that head and neck message and for some resting on that soft jumper she leaves on that sofa?

Till next time

Purrs and meows!

Before you go and if you want to check that mentioned above comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available to download or buy on Amazon

Ozzy and Tolkien would like to ask you to donate if you could so to help us with the ever expensive vet bills of our senior cats so they can have a good old age.  So please PayPal Ozzy and Tolkien’s hoomin. Thank you!

Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins! 

The ridiculous things that hoomins think that we sometimes do...all these unfounded accusations!

It’s the hoomins’ fault leaving soft clothes on my sofa...I’ve claimed what is rightfully mine!

Well here we are again my fellow cats and hoomin followers another week has just passed and things seem to be getting better...well for meowself and Tolkien at least.

You see the weather is getting colder again and hoomins once again are spending a lot more time inside and they appear to be less inclined to go outdoors frequent...this is why I like sometimes the weather in this country....because the hoomins don’t! They tend to moan a lot about it and to spend a lot more time indoors than when it is nice outside...so then I can have the hoomins all to meowself and Tolkien too of course (by the way you can still read about our life at home and of course all about the good times we’ve used to have at home in the good old days before March when hoomins behaved like hoomins and they’ve used to go outside often...in the hoomins comic Life with Ozzy.. and Tolkien available on Amazon).

Of course and as I was telling you last week there are also some annoying things, some drawbacks when hoomins are at home all the time, things that hoomins tend to do. I’m not really talking about their obsession of doing what they call work for hours and keeping themselves busy in front of their computers or laptops…oh no this is not something that purrsonaly really bothers me. After all I’m a very considerate cat and I understand that hoomins also need some time to themselves on a regular basis so I do allow them to work for a few hours a day while I’m having meowself some power naps...besides they have to entertain themselves somehow when I’m not around to entertain them or when they are not needed to keep me meowself entertained....(not Tolkien!). 

Tolkien again being very silly thinking that he is hidden! See, no brains!

Oh no their work habit it’s not the issue really. It’s the other small things that they sometimes do that bother me…such as when they’re disturbing me while I’m trying to snooze by being inconsiderate and making too much noise or deciding to do some unnecessary housework and start cleaning the house using annoying loud electric monstrosities like different vacuum cleaners (by the way why hoomins are so obsessed with vacuum cleaning and using more than one gadgets to do so? Especially the big noisy one or the one that they call robot vacuum and which seems to go everywhere in the house and which also seems to like chasing or finding you around the house….wherever you are! You can’t even be safe under the bed these days….By the way what’s wrong with having some fur on the carpet? It looks better with some of Tolkien’s fur and mine than without it I say!). You know I like to be left alone when I’m having my cat nap and not to be disturbed by hoomins or Tolkien....by the way that kitten is so  beyond any help....he is totally stupid and I doubt it that he has any brain at all....I mean the things that he does or he finds entertaining and likes playing with are sometimes beyond any logic explanation and understanding....a good example is of course his latest toy....the hoomin’s old toothbrush...which he found it in the rubbish bin and decided to start playing with it in the kitchen and making so much noise that the hoomins and meowself have to go and see what he was doing....I mean how can you play with an old toothbrush...that doesn’t make any sense at all...even for a stupid cat like Tolkien!

So anymeows and going back to meowself and the hoomins disturbing me at times when I want to snooze for a while undisturbed...It’s not like I bother them when they sleep....I don’t! But of course hoomins being hoomins they’d find things to accuse you even if you are not responsible for any of them….You see my hoomins are keep telling me that I tend to snore very loud and as a result I even prevent them from sleeping themselves or be able to listen to the TV when I’m taking my nap on the sofa...which is of course totally absurd! How can a cat like meowself snores so  loud the he makes it impossible for the hoomins to sleep or listen to the TV....Cats don’t snore hoomins they only purr….soothingly!

Then there is also of course the little matter of sleeping on the hoomins clothes when they are being left on the chairs or sofa...well I have two things to say to such accusations ...one that they shouldn’t be leaving clothes around in the house in the first place as they don’t want us to leave fur around on surfaces and secondly....well if they insist on doing it then they shouldn’t  accusing me for making use of them....it is getting cold after all and I like sleeping on soft surfaces wherever I can find them....by the way I do not do zooping either…just gentle treading with my soft paws!

Also and not that I’m taking Tolkien’s side on this matter but again it is hoomins’ fault as they shouldn’t be leaving paperwork on desks, chairs or  any other easy to get to areas as Tolkien would find them and chew them as per usual....so the hoomins shouldn’t blame Tolkien it’s their own fault after all....Tolkien is being simply Tolkien and he would chew anything that he can find....well if it looks like paper, cardboard or plastic that is....although hoomins are quite good at hiding plastic from him these days!

It’s all their fault really... they only have themselves to blame!

Anymeows better go now as the neighbour’s cat is outside again watching the next door neighbour’s cats sleeping on their hammock by the window....that poor cat is so jealous of us...she is always watching us and wanting to be indoors like us it seems!

Till next time 

Purrs and meows!

Before you go and if you want to check that mentioned above comic...Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien is now available to download or buy on Amazon

Ozzy and Tolkien would like to ask you to donate if you could so to help us with the ever expensive vet bills of our senior cats so they can have a good old age.  So please PayPal Ozzy and Tolkien’s hoomin. Thank you!

Don't forget to check my hoomin's site on Cat Behaviour if you want some advice...hoomin says that I am really good at giving good advice to hoomins!