Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien

Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien
The misadventures of Ozzy and Tolkien at home

Monday, 15 April 2019

Eating, sleeping and bullying....not really...well maybe sometimes!

There are three things that hoomins think that I do...rather well all the time...and which things well let’s say they believe that I’m not at my best behaviiour!
Of course that is not true...As everybody knows I’m a well behaved kitty and all these accusations are just stories that my hoomins are making up to destroy my good reputation. To be honest I really don’t know why hoomins are so mean to me sometimes....I thought they like me but then again...they are hoomins after all...not the best species around and at times so unpredictable….

So first of all I would like to emphasise and make very clear that despite any rumours that they might go around at the moment I don’t eat all the time and I’m not fat as hoomins keep saying...Ozzy you need to stop eating...Ozzy you are too fat...pfft...all lies, especially the one that goes around at the moment that apparently I fell into the bin in the kitchen while I was trying to get to some leftover chicken...nonsense...As I’ve said it before it was an accident...I’just slipped and fell into the bin...I wasn’t trying to get inside or anything...why I would like to get inside the smelly bin? I’m a cat after all and not a smelly dog...pfft, really now!

Also I don’t eat all the time or I try to steal the other cats or hoomins food...of course not. I eat my own while and at the same trying to be considerate as well by also trying to save hoomins some money by making sure that no food is getting wasted...if it is being abandoned...and no I do not try to steal their food while they are still eating...what kitty would do such a thing, really now! As for the hoomins dinner I’m just making sure that is safe for them to eat....again not trying to steal it!
And for the million time again....no,  I’m not fat...I simply look big because of all the extra fur I carry over all these cold months...I’m just fluffier than normal that’s all...
So hoomins can you stop circulating all these lies that I’m fat and that I eat too much, all these accusations need to stop right now, please!

As for my sleeping habits...no I don’t snore or push hoomins off the bed while I’m sleeping...I’m only taking a little space on the bed and try to keep out of the hoomins way at night...They must have some kind of nightmare or dreaming about me trying to push them off the bed or biting their hands and feet at night if exposed or snoring...this is not snoring...Don’t you know hoomins the difference between snoring and purring...only us kitties purr and it is unique to each of us....so what you call snoring is actually a very melodic purring....

As for me being a bully....ha! This really tops it up...How dare you say that I’m a bully when I’m clearly trying to keep everybody in tip form as they are all lazy and don’t exercise very much...so I need to make sure that they do a bit of running so to burn some of that excess energy they are accumulating....I’m only being playful and trying to motivate everybody...If I did bully them, then  where is the evidence...no fur or scratches to be seen....Besides them two are simply drama queens who like nothing better than over reacting and to try to get me into trouble by pretending that I’m attacking them....They are the bullies not me, hoomins!
Who’s fat hoomins?
Anymeow now that I’ve said the truth I think I truly deserve a little treat so I think I’d go and check on hoomins to see if they are about to fill up any...my bowl I mean...It is well passed my dinner time after all!

Purrs and meows for now!

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