Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien

Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien
The misadventures of Ozzy and Tolkien at home

Monday, 25 March 2019

I am a cat...I think!

You know sometimes hoomins seem to be rather puzzling...I mean they are generally difficult to understand sometimes because of their little peculiarities but and at the same time they can be really really weird....to say at least.
I mean they do behave like normal hoomins, you know they appear to really like you, they feed you, they can be quite affectionate (well, sometimes perhaps too affectionate really...annoyingly hoomin behaviour of course), they do what you want them to do, you know play with you and give you belly rubs and scratch at the right spots....but boy they can be also really strange at times....
I mean the things they would tell about you sometimes, really mean things especially when they say that they like you as well…for example...I know for a fact that I’m a cat...I have four legs, a nice tail, very soft fur (hoomins keep telling me), nice claws which I can use when needed of course, etc, etc...in general I’m a very pretty boy cat, the mirror and hoomins are saying....no doubt there.

What? I’m just checking that is nice and soft for you hoomin...I wasn’t doing any zooping! 

So why on earth then the  hoomins sometimes say that I’m not a cat or at least that I’m not behaving like a cat, I mean this is really hurtful, you know being accused of not being one of my own kind....why? I’m asking you why my hoomins would say such a terrible thing....if I’m not a cat what am I? I’m not a dog for certain (I can’t really bark or like eating dog food....not that I have tried any dog food  to be honest...hmmm, it might not be that bad after all, don’t judge, till you try I always say!). Anyways I’m not a dog and that’s that and I don’t think I’m a hoomin either...no way hoomin, I’m too intelligent and pretty to be a hoomin!
So what else can I be other than what I am....I am a cat, no matter what hoomins are saying...perhaps I can’t meow as the other three do...well I’ve never really got the hang of it...I just can’t really meow that loud like the others...but I most definitely don’t sound like a buzzing mosquito like hoomins keep saying....I simply use my own kind of special meowing...it’s more like brrr...owing than meowing but still it is my own unique meow...as I’m a unique cat...at least we agree on this with hoomins...Besides hoomins do understand what I’m trying to tell them and I’m not loud and annoying like the other two....boy, Faith and Choo Choo can be loud when they want attention and food...on the other hand I’m very considerate with my brrrowing...it is quiet and very discreet, pleasant to the hoomin ears or I purr as loud as Ripley does...hoomins can’t even hear my little purrs...and that’s another of my good points. Also and to make it clear once and for all I do not snore either, this is another false accusation by my hoomins…hoomins, it’s not snoring...it’s another form of purring, again my own unique way of purring!

Another thing that hoomins keep say about me that I don’t do like normal cats is  that I’m not doing zooping like normal cats do but again it is because I have found my own unique style of zooping which I find very relaxing....it works for me just fine...I’m pretty sure that all cats out there zoop their own way...at least I’m doing some cat zooping unlike the other three who don’t even try...or asked to do any zooping…far too lazy those three….and my little paws don’t leave marks on the walls…it’s all lies, I simply like stretching my paws on the wall!

As for liking being with the hoomins all the time and following them around, isn’t what us kitties are supposed to do so to keep an eye on hoomins? I need to know what they are doing just in case they need my assistance and I’m not just being curious all the time...and of course I would sit on the chair as soon as any of the hoomins gets up...what else a kitty is supposed to do when there is an available warm spot to sit on?  After hoomins evacuate the seat it then becomes available to occupy by anyone....what else do they expect from a kitty to do?

Seriously I really can’t see that I’m doing anything that any other normal cat won’t do...You know something, I think hoomins are just jealous because they want to like me, a pretty and clever kitty and of course and because they can’t they want to convince me that I’m not either....oh sneaky hoomins they think they can outsmart a clever kitty like me, ha, don’t think so, silly hoomins….you can never be like me…after all cats do rule the world and hoomins serve them!

Now better go and check on those pesky hoomins...it’s past dinner time you know!

Purrs and meows till next time!

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