Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien

Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien
The misadventures of Ozzy and Tolkien at home

Monday 18 March 2019

Cat myths that hoomins believe and which are not true....of course

We have established long time ago that hoomins are very gullible and they believe in myths and fairy tales....well they believe everything you tell them that is, even if it isn’t with many words...a few meows would usually do the trick....

So I would like to tell you some truths and hopefully you hoomins who read this would change your minds about us, cats, well at least a little. For starters, you seem to believe that we cats don’t do much other than sleep and eat all day....that’s sooooo not true....we really don’t sleep all the time and we eat very little but frequent of course so to keep our energy, you see. We eat only when we need to and not all the time and when there is food around.....soooo not true!

As for sleeping...come on now, we don’t sleep all day or most of the day, we only sleep when we need to, when we are tired and after we’ve had a good play and hunt or catch....wherever...and we need a rest. Like you do hoomins...You see, myself,  I’m usually awake when my hoomins are around so to keep on eye on them as well as the other three and I would go to bed when hoomins go, at night time and then I would sleep till morning, like my hoomins do! Of course as it is my responsibilty to make sure that hoomins wake up on time to do their chores before they have to go wherever they go when they go outside, so I would get up a bit earlier to encourage and help them get up on time as they often need a little persuassion as hoomins are known to be a little lazy at times...So I would use as per normal a bit of head butting, face licking and biting, sitting on them, knocking things over, attacking exposed feets, etc, etc, you know the usual stuff that cats do to help their hoomins wake up in the mornings.
As for the rest of the day I don’t spend it sleeping when the hoomins are not around as I usually have many things to do, I’m after all a very busy kitty...looking after the other three (we they can be rather lazy at times but then they are getting a bit old so they can be excused), keeping an eye on the birds and pesky squirrels outside and general to what’s going on out there, making sure that all bowls are empty for the hoomins so they can refill them again when they return..making also a bit of a mess with the carpets and sofa covers for hoomins so they can keep themselves busy when they come home, eventually....among other things that a kitty has to do! Of course there are many hours in a day and after all the chores are done I might have a little snooze myself as well so to keep my self fresh for when hoomins return of course....they’d need to be welcomed and followed around till everything is done...you know  till all bowls are full again....
So yes it is a hoomin made myth that cats sleep most of the day and stay awake at night so to annoy their hoomins...seriously who wants to stay awake at night when nothing is going on and hoomins can’t even hear you or give you any attention....not me...I prefer to sleep!

Not sleeping....just resting....I had a rather tiring day...
Another false assumption is that boy cats don’t get along when are living together....this is utterly nonsense as me and Choo Choo are the best of friends and we are getting along just fine...I like Choo Choo he is a lot nicer and friendly than the two girls that they are also around...Don’t get me wrong I like Faith and Ripley but to tell you the truth though girl  cats are really a pain to live with sometimes....they are soooo fussy and unreasonable and like to get you into trouble for no apparent reason....no fun whatsoever! I mean I’m only trying to sniff Faith’s tail....especially the start of her tail and she gets really paranoid and she growls and meows for the hoomins to come to rescue her and so I can get into to trouble....try to touch her or get her involve in some playing and chasing and she meows so loud that hoomins believe that I’m attacking her....as for Ripley, she is the worst,  you only have to get near her and she growls and hisses like she is being attacked and she even pretends that she is in danger by taking the defensive pose so hoomins would think that I’m actually attacking her....Unbelievable! i know she is the oldest and a bit grumpy at times....but this is a premeditate assault on my good reputation, so hoomins think I’m a bully....she is soooo bad!
No, no don’t like girls they are such drama queens....give me Choo Choo any time...he never gets annoyed and he even lets me share his food....So it is not true that boy cats are not getting along, quite the opposite I’d say.

Myself and Choo Choo....my best friend!
Another misconception about us cat is that we are all hunters and that we all like chasing and catching, birdies and miceys and other smaller animals....again that’s not true...my best friend after Choo Choo of course is Grizzly, the hamster cat that lives in that plastic box and which I like watching when he is out and about on his ball.... actually and to be honest with you and don’t tell to anybody else...I kinda find him a bit scary when he rolls in that big ball around the house...he is so fast and looks rather menacing the way he moves around with no fear of anything in his path....Nope I wouldn’t even try and chase him....actually I think that sometimes it seems that he is chasing me instead!
As for the birdies outside....I like them and I think they are really cute and I like watching them when they are coming to the feeders....The only one that I don’t like is that pesky squirrel, he is far too big and fat for the feeders, plus he eats the poor birdies food!

So as you can see there are a lot of misconceptions about us, kitties as there are a lot of things thar we kitties don’t really do....well at least some of us....

Purrs and meows for now...till next time!

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