Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien

Life with Ozzy and.. Tolkien
The misadventures of Ozzy and Tolkien at home

Wednesday, 23 January 2019

Who is a fat boy? Not me hoomins!

I really don’t understand it, what is all this big fuss that hoomins are keep making about my weight or body mass, which ever you prefer...There is no day that passes by when they won’t mention the fact that I’m a bit overweight....I said a bit and I would also admit it....I might be carrying a bit of extra weight these days but you know how things often are as I’m a very busy kitty trying to keep everything and everybody in his/her place and as a result I don’t pay too much attention of little details such as how much I eat and how often for example....besides Ripley used to be the fat one and not me, so I’m asking you, hoomins, what has changed now? Why and all of the sudden I’m the one who is overweight now?

Beside I don’t believe that I’m really fat, I think it is because of winter, you know, the cold season that we are now having and because of the cold and as a result my fur has puffed up quite a lot and it makes me look a lot bigger than in reality I am, a bit pouffy. It is like those birdies outside who tend to fluff up you know when it is cold....Just a bit of extra puffed up fur that’s all that is....especially in the belly area....I’m very soft there, feel hoomin....actually don’t touch there...rather sensitive area...See? I’m not fat at the top of my head where there is not a lot of fur....it’s all the places where there is a lot of fur....well it doesn’t really matter whether I’m shorthaired or not in the winter months the fur grows a lot....a lot more than normal that is!

Also it has nothing to do with me being overweight again and falling off the kitchen counter or failing to jump up there....it’s just a miscalculation from my part....you know that kitchen it’s not always well lit and we kitties can’t really see in the dark, it’s a just a hoomin myth that is not true...we can see better in not well lit places but that kitchen sometimes is really really dark....so there have been some miscalculations from my part and as a result I didn’t manage to jump high enough to get to the counter.....that’s all. Again  extra weight and  being overweight has nothing to do with just not been able to calculate how high the surface was….let’s not jump to the wrong conclusions here, right?

And to also clear the misunderstanding here that I eat too much that’s not true again at all....I’m not a cat vacuum cleaner hoomins, hoomins, you know and I don’t go around and empty clean  all the food bowls if there is any food left. I simply make sure that not food gets wasted as I know how expensive it can be for you hoomins....I’m only thinking of you hoomins you know, trying to save you some money here, you know....Them other three can be really fussy when it comes to their eating habits  and they do waste a lot of good food....it is such a shame to waste all that good food....so I’m only helping you here hoomins....being a helpful and considerate kitty, that’s all it is.

See, how tiny I am hoomins? Not big and fat as you are saying....
Now and since we are mentioning empty food bowls, have any of you hoomins filled up any of those bowls? Better check then before any of the other three awakes and attempts to check any of these bowls first...

Purrs and meows till next time....fellow hungry kitties!

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